Wednesday, January 16, 2008
gosh i jus realised that its been a week since i last blogged
well been pretending that everything is fine been pretending to be happy over n over again
coz if i dn pretend to b strong it wont be okay
ppl around me whom i care so much needs me
dey cant c me nt strong dey cant c me collapse
if nt dey cant lean on me dey cant rely on me to b der for dem if i dun pretend to be strong
i dun mind relli dey nid me more den i nid myself right now =)
recently i jus received an email my MOE regarding o lvl
d letter states my password for me to gt my o lvl results online
the moment i saw that letter my heartbeat was beating faster n faster
i was feeling scared i was afraid
i was so fucking afraid that ill fail
as soon i gt d letter negative thots came to me
telling me that ill fail my o lvl AGAIN
i kip telling myself that im a failure!!
i kip telling myself that it is not possible for me to pass my o lvl!!
haix my dae was ruined wen i saw that letter!!
im leading a pathetic life man
everyday kept thinking of the past
y in d world am i thinkin of it??
cant i jus forget abt it pls??
i relli wan too =)
i noe im trying but its not happening!!
im criously fucking fed up of myself for being this way!!!
arggggggggg!!! FUCK!!!
a few days ago i took my basic theory test
I PASSED!! WHEEEEE
now waiting to learn how to drive and pass my final theory test!!
muahahahahaha hopefully i cn gt my liscence by this year!!!!
i miss my besties so much lar
haven seen them for like so long!!
i dunno wen will that be
everyone seems bz n i am too
if i start working aldy ill b more bz can!!
we gotta mit up fast!!!
O LVL results is going to be released soon
dunno wen sum sae 24 or 25 or 28 of january
sumhow i got a gut feeling that ill fail again
y cant i jus for once believe in myself ah??
izzt so hard to believe in urself??
tell me ppl pls tell me y??
haix
IM AFRAID =(