Wednesday, September 27, 2006
HaIx..as daes passed..my confidence drop...all my frens haf confidence in me but i jus cnt blieve in myself anymore...its jus too much 4 me to handle...i jus dunno wd to do anymore...shld i jus dun care abt my prelims results and strive 4ward or b disheartened??...
wd cn i do...??.. i mean if ur strongest subj n u nvr do well in...wont u like in disbelief?? or 1 of ur strongest subj..n u xpect to actualli pass it but ind end u fail...wont it like dampen ur spirit??... haix...i jus dunno wd has cum over me dis yr...im being too emo...hahahahahakz....mayb d pressure is getting to me...or otha probs keep haunting me...argg...i duno wd i shld do nw....ppl arnd me expect great things frm me...its so pressurizing...den wen i fail d subj im gd in...dey like so surprised n cnt blieve it...haix...whr's my confidence gone too..??.. last time im full of confidence n all...i cn do anythin...but nw my confidence is gone..nthy i do came out d wae i wanted it to be...haix..wen a person loses its confidence...he cnt do anything rite or even blieve in himself anymore...n dis results in ppl trying to attempt suicide...haix..hopefully i wont attempt suicide sia...im so scared of o lvl...arnd oni like 1 month left 4 me to study...pressure sia!! my prelims sux!! i pass oni 3 subj...n failed d 3 core subjs...jus cnt blive it...!!!
Mayb i shld nt haf advanced to sec 5...mayb ite suits me betta....n d plc i cn reali excel in...but i nt oni disapoint myself...but my families n frens who blive in me....y izzt so hard 4 me to excel in my studies...??.. am i d study type or am i d hands on person..?...cn any1 tell me..??.. or am i jus stupid..??.. haix...reali hate myself nw...dunno wd am i suppose to do nw...???...
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Haix...im so depressed...gt back my maths pps back...haix...failed as usual...but it was worse den xpected....tot cn at least gt 30+...but i gt lower den tt...haix...f9 f9 f9 f9...am i fated to gt f9 for maths??.. am i jus stupid..??? or am i jus incapable of passing....??.. haix...jus wd am i capable of..??.. i sux...i reall do...d dae i gt back my maths pp ws yest ..on fri..haix...so depressed...d 1st time i actualli cried...haix...tears in my eyes...trying hard to hold dem back...its jus taking a toll out of me...i cnt take it anymore...i have been getting f9 for maths dis yr...nvr passed a single test b4..haix...its so stupid of me to think tt i cn pass maths!!! argg!! stupid!! my future is ruin....haix...mayb its fate 4 me to fail....haix..i dunno...
HaMdAn is a nobody!! he failed his maths wif an f9...he's stupid!! he's hopeless!! he wont pass his o level wif flying colors...!!! haix.... I am hopeless!! 
den tt dae itself on fri...went out wif my old peeps...trying hard to put a smile on my face..dun let dem noe tt im sad inside...haix..trying hard to smile...but my smile jus dun feel natural....i jus nt able to smile infront of d camera so naturally like i awaes do....haix...i feel terrible n sad....im jus sad....trying to b happy which im nt..im suffering...realli bad..SoRy guyS..will any1 stand by me n encourage me to do well...boost my confidence...or help me find my confidence back which i lost it??...will any1 help me..??.. haix..i dunno...mayb no1 will..haix...
Saturday, September 16, 2006
HaiX...so many things happen...especially recently...prelims has started...still gt 1 more wk of torture until its finished...haix...den 2dae gt back my maths pp1...haix...as usual fail...i xpected to fail...coz im jus nt ready...haix...i sux in maths 4 goodness sake....y did i actualli think that i cn pass dis stupid maths shit!!! im stupid...maths is nt my cup of tea...even d subjs im gd in...i jus nt confident enuf wht i cn excel...haix...wd's happening to me...???.. who's dis Hamdan..??...its nt me...Hamdan has more confidence...n he cn do anything...nthy is impossible to him.....
HAMDAN JUS WHR R U??? I REALLI NID U NW...BADLY!!! B4 MY O LEVELS....HAIX...
