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Tuesday, October 30, 2007
O lvl eng n maths paper had passed
oh gosh!!
i think i didnt do tt well
what d heck i think i failed
haix

relli not in da mood
sori to those who msg me n i didnt reply
i jus nided time alone to recompose myself that's all
dun worri i wont do anything stupid =)
at least i hope i dun

dying in my miseries
Lost nowhere @ 1:20 PM
0 Comments
Thursday, October 25, 2007
yest sat for my chemistry paper
it was awfully dreadful
i cnt do most of the qns
i almost GAVE UP!!!!
so much for my crash study
haix not much information gt into my head
sat in the examination hall,looked at d paper n evrything was blank!!
gosh!! y mus dis happen to me on my exams?!?!
i've FAILED!!
how to pass my combined science like this!!??!!

aft the stupid incredibly difficult exams
went to mit up wif ct at ps
i wasnt relli in d mood to go out
but had to put up a smile for her in order not to spoil d mood
its hard guys it relli is hard to FAKE a smile
its hard to be happy wen ur not!!
shortly after pak an rched
HE PASSED HIS BASIC THEORY TEST!!
yayness for him!! congrats bro!! c i told u can do it!!
went to eat at banquet n den played pool at parklane
i tell u it was relli my 1st time seeing d whole pool area completely EMPTY!!
i haf d pics ill upload it next time
its unbelivable lar
but i mean oh well anything is possible!!
played pool until 10
YESSAR!!
i won pak an again!!! muahahahahahahaha
sori bro =) bleahx
went home straight.....

now i relli in need a shoulder to cry on
coz im criously fuckin hate my life rite now
everything all messed up
n i think im gg fail my o lvl
coz im jus too stressed up!!!
i cnt make it again!!
haix

Zhaney hating his life by the sec .................
dyin in his miseries........................................
Lost nowhere @ 2:00 AM
Friday, October 19, 2007
LIFE


My whole life i've been thru its relli brings me down
it drains me wholly
to worry abt things that leaves me miserable
IM RELLI BLOODY DAMN TIRED N FED UP OF MY OWN STRUGGLES/FIGHTS/WORRIES/FEARS
but i had to summon all my courage to face it
i had to put up a bravefront infront of evryone so as not to appear that im actualli suffering
sumtimes i simply wish to b alone
that's hard n i hate being alone =(


I JUS WAN TO CRY MY HEART OUT
ANYONE CAN LEND ME THEIR SHOULDERS TO CRY ON??
hahahahas
dis is so ridiculous
oh well

dyin in my miseries............
Lost nowhere @ 11:47 PM
Thursday, October 18, 2007
haix

been studyin hard for d past few days
still i think im not prepared for my o
n yeah 2dae proves it im nt

had my O level science practical
i screwed it
couldnt do anything at all
i almost gave up halfway
but i told myself i shld try n do it
i tried my best i think
but i think i flunk it
damn
ur so STUPID lar HAMDAN
how to pass ur o level
even d sci prac u cnt even do wd more ur theory paper
F**k lar!!!


Now feeling very down
i dunno wd to do anymore
all my frens sae its over dun think abt it
concentrate on d theory pp
yeap i noe
but i c hw my mood
criously feelin very low n disappointed


Im so bloody damn ashamed of myself
d real HAMDAN does not giv up easily
but now d HAMDAN jus giv up like that
that is not me
i noe thats not me
pls tell me its not me!!!!!
PLS
i relli nid my confidence back!!
i relli do
sobx sobx sobx sobx


Im In DEEP deep deep DEPRESSION
Lost nowhere @ 5:29 PM
Thursday, October 11, 2007
SO F**KING STRESSED UP!!


O level
y in the world did i decide to retake it the second time
wen i noe myself that im incapable to do well d next time
mayb i was jus in DENIAL
mayb i jus couldnt take the fact that i failed it
REAL BAD
haix
wd's happenin to me?
y am i hating myself so much?
y am i torturing myself so much?

u noe wd??
i cn like advise ppl sayin that dey cn do it
but i myself dun relli advise myself that i can do it !!
mayb bcoz i belived in them dey relli can do it !!
BUT i noe that deep down inside of me i jus cant !!
i should noe myself
when i sae i relli cant do it i relli cant do it!!
as simple as that
IM RELLI DEEPLY SORI TO EVERYONE WHO EVER BELIEVED IN ME
i cant do it i cant make it!!!
IM AFRAID TO SAY THAT MAYB IM GIVING UP ON MYSELF!!
SORRY
SoBx SoBx SoBx SoBx SoBx

yest went out wif my bros/buddies/besties
andrew wei liang farhan
waited for pak an to finish werk
accompanied me to buy my jeans

den headed dwn to TONG SENG for breaking fast
went to buy sum otha stuffs
went on straight to pasir ris to play pool
pool is so fun can!!
i won pak an again by 4 wins to 3 wins =)
the whole day was perfect up to a point of time wen i EMOED
i was worried for my o's
tryin my best to put on a SMILE for them =)
i relli LUV dem loads can!!
thnxs for the awesome day we had together!!
cant wait for the next outing next month!!!

Labels:

Lost nowhere @ 1:51 AM
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
everyday is like a nightmare for me
i dunno but i jus feel that my whole life right now is a disaster
nothing is in the perfect way that i wanted
my studies is in a mess
retakin my o lvl again was basically mayb the wrong move that i took
one simple move n i feel miserable
oh well i jus haf to make do wd im left wif now
frens its all i ever wish for
dey are my comfort zone
always dere for me wen i nid dem
family well its messed up
if oni everything ws back to the way it was last time
too much complications rite now
im basically in d middle of everything
i hate it so much!!
but i had to be dey nid me more den i nid myself now
NOTHING IS PERFECT IN THIS WORLD
but we will try to make it PERFECT


O level is jus around the corner
i haven finis revising all my 3 subjs that im retakin
n i have no time!!! not enuf time!!!
im SCARED im relli am SCARED
afraid that HISTORY GONNA REPEAT ITSELF
n ill fail my o lvl d second time in a row
gosh i relli wldnt wan that to happen AGAIN
i dun wan to CRY again!!!
i dun wan OK!!!
I hate being a FAILURE!!
I JUST HATE MYSELF SO F**KING MUCH!!!
sobx SOBX sobx SOBX sobx SOBX sobx SOBX sobx
Lost nowhere @ 8:07 PM
Friday, October 05, 2007
gotten my results 2 daes back
didnt slpt d whole nite lar
i ws so worried sick tt i didnt do well

my results are as follows:

Accounting A
Office Applications B
Business Fundamentals B
GPA 3.313

So lousy sia!!
i xpected to gt betta results den tt sia
F**k lar!!!
haish nvrmind i will do betta in time to come!!
gotta mug hard!!

now bz revisin my O
haish dunno cn do well or not sia
i relli hope so
been burning midnite oil
nt enuf slp my face looks horrible
pimples all cum out due to stress!!
arggggg


AM I RELLI HAPPY FOR ONCE??
Lost nowhere @ 3:35 PM
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
few days back
celebrated cherlyn's bdae at sakura buffet
gosh mish dem so much can!!
buffet so XX can!!
$25 jus gone like that
wow!! im officially broke liao
bgt her pressie oso n yeah i took cab go home
die die no $$$$ liao

aft takin pics n stuffs
we initially wanted to watch movie but dere were none
ZzZzZzZz -.-
so decided to slack unda d blk
n i ws kinda confronted by my besties
tok to dem n yeah im relli glad i did
i feel so much betta =)
i jus feel that im the most luckiest boi in d world
having amazing frens surroundin me who i luv dem deeply no matter wd
im so HAPPY can!!

i've been tryin to study for my o lvl
im nt sure hws my progression
but i hope im doin well
muggin hard for maths coz im so bloody damn weak in it lar
o lvl is jus round the corner n im nt prepared yet
gosh im dead!!
jia you Hamdan!!
u cn do it de!!
well at least i hope so

now tt im HAPPY i miss d EMO me
hahaha i dunno i jus miss d emo me
EMOBOI
sounds cool huh
i wanna EMO back uh
muahahahahaha

ahhhhh
i look FUGLY can!!
more pimples cumin out
mayb im jus too stressed n not enuf slp
arggg
gotta clear evrything b4 HARI RAYA!!!

i didnt slpt d whole nite yest
dunno y i jus cant slp lar
came back frm a small outing wif my ite mates
n aft tt i cnt slp
mayb im jus too xcited n worried for my results which im so impatiently waiting lar
9am leh cum out!!
so late!!
i gt like 30 mins to wait!!
hurry up lar
n a pity none of my ite mates are online
i guess dey bz slpin ZzZzZz
muahahahahahaha
hopefully i do well man!!

waiting impatiently
Lost nowhere @ 8:07 AM