HaIz...2dae skool was terrible...i wasnt feeling well...but i still went to skool..tired sia...anywae basically skool nthy much...but 1 thing tt i ws realli angry was abt jt...he said things bad abt me tt i dun like...haiz...den i say fuck u lar!! tt ws during recess time...haiz....i ws hurt...i mean last time i ws vry patient but i guess nw im sick n tired of my life....i jus bcame totalli a different person....i dunno...i luv my frens....d last thin i wld wanna do is to hav a conflict wif dem....but dunno lar..mayb last time i ws too nice n ppl jus take advantage me or sumthin...dey bully me last time.....n nw i bcome more aggressive n No More pushovers man!! betta dun mess wif me....hehe...but im still d kind, caring, helpful person tt i am....i hope i dun chg too much until my attitude changes.... I wasnt feeling well 2dae n tot of skipping my sci banding but i beta nt coz ill miss a lot n prelims is just arnd d corner...i wldnt wan to fail it...haiz...so scared...den jus nw my fren were quite concerned abt my well being...im glad abt tt...im quite happy 2dae....coz me frens gt care abt me...dey even ask me to go hm rest n nt cum to sci banding....hehe...im happy a little i guess...yay!! okies...i wanna ciao liao...ZhAnEy peace outz!!
HaIz...2dae was a sucky dae 4 me...in skool i ws so moody...especially during maths class..do u noe y..??... i doubt so....haiz..bcoz i dunno hw to do maths probs...haiz...i suxs at maths...y!! y!! jus hate it so much....i ws moody all d wae until aft skool...haiz...i think im gg fail my maths aldy...haiz...its so damn hard...i jus cnt do it..im hopeless...really darn hopeless...all my frens are like so gd in maths...n im so lousy in it...wd am i suppose to do...??..hw to keep up wif dem sia...haiz....I jus hate myself!! IM STUPID!! REALLI DARN STUPID!!! hAiZ.....................................HaIz..........................HaIz....................................
ltr tt evening went out wif family to hav dinner at pizza hut...yay!! d plc so nice sia...luv it so much...miss tt plc...miss evry1 there....haiz...den gt to mit up wif my god bro at ph...he came dwn...yeah!! miss him so muc...anywae aft tt walk arnd tamp shopping...boring ar...wd to do...have to...hahahahkz....Criously bored....nw duno wd to tok abt liao....oh well.... ZhAnEy peace outz....
HaIz...skool suxs nw!!.. i begining to hate skool aldy...dunno y....bcoz all d unhappiness happens in skool...n i dun like it....i hate it...it jus makes me so wanna cry n feel sad...haiz....ArGgGgGgGg.....
Sumtimes i jus wanna fall realli sick...until im hospitalised....coz i criously am fucking tired of my life....!!! i guess it will b anytime nw till i collapsed.....Mayb i want to b in a coma...den if any1 were to visit me....den i noe who are my true frens....but mayb im jus askin too much..no 1 will actualli visit me coz no 1 care abt me...criously no 1...i hate tt....i luv my frens...but do dey luv me?? haiz.....
HaIz...im sick n tired of my life...criously...i hate to put up a front of my frens...im sick n tired of trying to b happi which IM NT!!...im nt happy wif my life...nvr evr in d 1st plc..its jus tt i try to be...it hurts....it realli does...sobx sobx...=( Do i realli haf frens..??..frens tt i cn trust whole heartedly??...frens tt i luv?? frens tt will awaes by my side if prob arises??.... or frens tt backstabbed me frm behind??... or frens tt run awae wen i gt probs??...or frens tt jus leave u to rot by urself..??... to all my frens out dere...i hope tt me trusting u is d best thing i've ever done in my life...i hope so...pls make it true...i dun wan to regret it ltr....i hope i cn trust u n u trust me...i really wld want tt...haiz...is tt too much 2 ask..??..(i realli wonder abt my sec frens...cn i actualli trust dem..??..) i hope so..i realli hope so....pls dun make me lose faith in u guys.....pls....
Anywae...i like dis gurl in my skool...but im nt sure wht she likes me or nt....or does she just treat me as a fren oni....??...HmM...i dunNo...i tot of askin her to go to d prom wif me....but half of me wld want to ask her...but half of me is holding me back....am i scared tt she'll reject me..??.. or am i jus shy...??...shld i ask her..??...im afraid tt it will affect my frenship wif her if i were to ask her...evrything will b ruined...i dun wan tt 2 happen...i wan evrythin 2 b as per normal if aft i ask her abt it....HaIz....Wish me luck guys....i try to summon my courage to ask her...hopefully evrythin goes smoothly 4 me....
Haiz...2dae gt back my hist test back sia...i passed ar...yeah...dots...dots...my marks so lousy lor..i gt 64/100....omg...nt even a2 lor...haiz...n sumore highest in d class u noe...isnt tt lousy..??...i badly wanted to score a1 or a2 for it...but its jus over...my class is d 2nd class amg 2 classes....5a2 is d 1st class....apparently...mostly all d top student is in it....omg...hw to compete wif dem sia...bt mayb we cn...i awaes tell myself tt i cn do it...!! i noe i cn do it!! n i did...midyr i did win sum of d top student...i gt 19 4 d whole sec 5 u noe...is tt great..??.. but to me its nt great..in fact im lousy...im hopeless...i cnt even pass my maths n sci....haiz....y am i so stupid..??
cn i go back to d past..??..i criously want too...i want to do d tings tt i nvr did in d past...4 eg.. askin F to b my gf...if nt we'll still b 2gther till eternity...I LUV HER SO MUCH!! study 4 my PSLE....if nt i go to Xpress stream...but nw evrythin is TOO late aldy....haiz...I realli regretted nt doin all those things.....wd to do..???... strive forward..?? like duh uh!! okok...i wanna ciao liao...ZhAnEy peace outz!!
2dae..hmmM...nt bad ar...Shazlin bcome the 10th President of the student council...yeah!! i voted 4 her...like duh uh!! i nid to c d potential 1st mahz...haha...anywae 2dae a grp of choir boys frm melbourn high boys frm australia came to our skool for a foreign exchange sumthin2....dunno ar...ok lar..i jus luv wen dey speak...so nice....but i prefer british accent...nicer ar...hehehe....anywae 2dae basically nthy....den suddenly...D & F knew tt i gt blog...i dun wan dem to noe jus yet...haiz...hMm... hw dey find out sia...dunno wht dey read abt it yet nt...hopefully nt...anywae i changed it aldy...lucky...hopefully dey wont b able to find it dis time....i wonder who told dem...hmMm... i jus dun wan dem to noe yet...i mean haiz...i dunno.... Anywae...HmM..ppl were toking abt prom...prom...haiz...i duno who to ask a gurl 2 a prom date...dunno lar...i like dis gurl last time but i guess my feelings 4 her has fade away all bcoz of stupid sumthin tt i found out...haiz....so nw...i dunno who to ask....HmMm....mayb i shld ask dis person...hMm...dunno wht she wants nt...im close to her but does she want to go to prom wif me mehz..??...i whr gt suai....she vry swit....mayb tts wd i like abt her...hehehe.... HmM...i think i beginning to like dis gurl aldy u noe...i think i like her...who noes...but do we suit each otha..?? i think she single...but does she like me..?? but at d same time i think i like anotha person...both are vry swit...n i like tt in a gurl...dey dun hav to pretty or anythin...jus swit..caring...n overall my type...haha...wan a gurl who cn luv me as much as i luv dem...hMm.. will i find my true love...??? i've been wating 4 tt sum1 special out dere...i noe dere is sum1 special out dere waitin 4 me...but whr is she..??.. nid to find her....haiz....nw i miss F...she's d first gal i evr luv whole heartedly....I LUV HER SO MUCH!! hahahakz...okok...i wanna cioa liao....nid to study phy...ZhAnEy peace outz!!
Yay!! A gg prom..haha...at last...i hope we'll hav a gd time on 1 dec...hopefully... : )
Haiz...i nw realise tt my sis n i are in d same boat...both of seems so cheerful outside...but inside we're suffering... nobody noe wd seems to b d prob in our life...we seem to b happy most of d time...but all tt is a lie...our life is a total lie...oh well...cnt b helped...
Dis few months i realise tt dere are no true or real frens in dis world...u may haf frens nw..but in jus minutes..dey're jus gone w/o sayin gdbye..Frens are like toys...wen u 1st gt it u luv to play wif it..but ull gt bored of it sumday...n jus tossed it off...n cum in a new toy n soon it'll b d same thing ovr n ovr again....i guess tt's my life nw... i gt no real frens or true frens i guess...n im hatin my life....tryin not to ponder all dese things n jus concentrate on my studies..but frens are a part of my life...i cnt live w/o my frens...but sumtimes i feel that im nt wanted by any of dem...dey jus care abt demselves n nvr take d initiative to actualli noe dis fren of deir's is suffering in d inside...n im terribly hurt...realli realli hurt n depressed.... i wanted to end my life...but sumthin tt kept me gg is myself...i wld b lettin myself down if i jus giv up...
Haiz...y is my life dis way...am i jus fated to hav no real frens..??...Oh...my frens: D,D,C,M,F... i luv u guys.. i truly do but u guys just make me realise tt im jus a nobody...a nobody tt is nt cared by deir frens...onli wen my frens are facing a prob...dey wld approach me...im jus a spare...haiz...im flattered tt u guys if gt prob wld approach me bt im a human being too....i hav probs..lots of it...u guys nvr take d initiative to find out.. im disappointed n im just tired...realli tired of my life...my mum n grandmum told me tt my face looks pale..i duno wht tts true...mayb im jus tired...sick...n afraid....u noe wd im afraid of..??...u dun...im afraid of losing all my frens tt i've known 4 d past 16 yrs of my life...dey hav grew into me...u guys made a diff in my life...changed me..to b sum1 i am nw...haiz...mayb im jus too dependent on my frens or mayb expect frm dem too much...but who wldnt..??.. who wldnt depend on deir frens to help dem..b by deir side wen dey face probs...frens are pillars of ur life otha den ur family...w/o dem...ur life is empty...full of emptiness....
i noe im nthy to any1...especially to D,D,C,M,F,A....to dem im jus sum1...sum1 tt cn b cast aside wen u dun nid me anymore...i tried to find new frens to hang out wif..but its hard..coz im nt confident if it wld werk...i wldnt wan history to repeat itself...sumtimes i tot of voicing out my pain to dem but mayb im afraid tt its too much 4 me to handle....im afraid tt aft hearing wd i haf to say...dey wld jus ignore n sae tt im siao!! dey wld simply sae oh..i doubt dey care...coz if dey did...dey wld noe tt sumthin is wrong wif me...but i guess nt...haiz...
Nw otha den tt...im afraid of my upcoming BIG exams tt will determine my fate in my future life...i hav no confidence in passing my o lvls...ppl have faith in me..saying tt i cn do it!! but cn i..??.. tt is wd i've been askin myself 4 d past few months...i wan to do well in my o lvls...i wld nt wan to let dwn my family n myself...So i've made a decision to strive forward...pass my o lvl wif 15 pts....i noe i cn do it...i noe!!... nthy is impossible...hopefully tts true.... i jus hope tt wen i gt back my results next yr...my dreams will cum true...i wld nt wan to collapse n cry my heart out if i fail... if i did fail...i doubt i have d strength to actualli move forward again..its jus too much 4 me... ZhAnEy peace outz!!
HaIz...EacH dae went pass...my life bcame worse...i bcome more lonely nw...nw i noe tt my frens dun realli care abt me...i cn c tt...i dun nid dem to sae anythin or ask dem anything... isnt it obvious...im jus an XTRA...criously stupid of me to actualli blieve tt true frens actualli exists....haiz...sumtimes i tot of jus ending my life...but its nt worth it...i haven accomplish wd i reali wan to do wif my life since young which is to b a doctor n a fren tt cares...but i guess all tt is HISTORY...coz im jus nthy in any1's eyes...mayb im fated to b a nobody...NOBODY NOBODY NOBODY....
WelL todae nthy much happen...except i ws vry sad n lonely...tt A said tt he wanna go to prom but nvr bring d $$..i ws like... ArGgg...i mean dis prom thingy is once in a lifetime opportunity...i jus wan him to enjoy himself on tt dae.. but i guess he doesnt care... oh well...A im criously am tired...if u dun wanna go...den suits u...coz im sick n tired of evrythin in dis world.. jus do wadeva u wan man...i dun care...i jus dun care...sobx sobx...haiz...wadeva!! In class 2dae nvr tok to any1...coz i ws angry...so nvr tok to any1 except F n Jt i guess...so jus nw i ws reali payin attention in class...trying to though...but i ws vry lonely...tt time i realised tt frens are important in my life...but to actualli have true frens... its IMPOSSIBLE!! coz ull nvr noe wd ur fren thinks abt u...BUt on d bright side 2dae.. i ws kinda happy tt A & C are still 2gther...stayin strong...at least i ws slight happi abt sumtin...seeing ppl happi makes me happi...so i dun mind being nt happy myself...jus let me suffer in silence...i criously dun mind...(i hope) or mayb am i jus cnt face reality tt i actuali hate myself for nt being happy..?? Jus nw went home straight aft skool...coz no class... HAPPY sia..!! at last!! so 2dae i slept...coz no mood to actualli do anythin or watch tv...haiz...so watch d show oprah...n i didnt noe tt dere is a suicide website....n omg i ws so damn shocked!! dere are websites actualli to help u c wd kind of methods to kill urself...Hmm... mayb i shld try..??.. i duno...kill myself?? or live to suffer..?? haiz..tell me pls any1....im gg collapsed soon or even die soon.....i may nt noe...haiz....ZhAnEy peace outz!!
ZzZzZz...2dae in class vry boring...1st 2 period chem..we learnt sumthin new: macromolecules...ok ar.. quite ez i guess...den 2 periods of mly...i did my poa ar..haiz..poa getting tougher!! den pe 1 period.. wah sian sia...!! have to run 2.4km...wa lao!! so tired lo...a lot of ppl cheat..like duh uh!! my class mah...cnt blame...i nvr cheat hor..i pass lor...13:21...wa lao!! 1 sec slow.. if nt i gt D sia..Cb!! at least i nvr cheat..tts all tt counts...hehe...aft recess...1 period of eng..yipee!! happi sia..so nthy much we do ar...den ltr gt lc..wd sia...5 hrs like tt til lc...do wd shit..?..haiz...so terrible...den had lunch den stayed in skool librabry till 4...nthy to do...so i plan wd to do 4 my bdae gathering 4 dis sept hols..hehe..cnt wait! im gg cook 4 all...yeah!! hope wont disappoint dem.. Haiz...i bght mp3 frm china..haiz...but hor spoil sia...haiz...DAMN!! nw no mp3..i realli wanted my own mp3..but nw NO MP3 4 me...stupid mp3!! lOoKs like i hav to werk to actualli buy myself stuffs w/o askin me parents buy 4 me...HmM...my frens sae i pampered boi..am i..?..dunno dey sae tt anythin i wan dey giv...is tt pampered meh..??.. i gt sega...sega saturn...ps1...ps2..comp.gameboy.....pampered mehz..??.. i dun think so bahz....or izzt...??... hehe...mayb a bit ar... hahakz..
HMmMm..im bored 2dae so ill jus write my thots abt luv....hehehe.... HmM.. i guess love is a wonderful thing...judging frm my frens n cuz who are attached...i guess dey are happy...but sumtimes it hurts...tt's wd i actualli observe sum couples...i mean dere of course sum ups n dwns in relationships...but nthy cnt b solved...evry prob in d world cn b solved..if 1 wld actually take d inititive to actualli giv in....but aftall we are all human beings...ppl make mistakes...n i guess d most prob tt all ppl hav in dis world is stubborness....if both ppl in a relationships are both equally stubborn...nthy cn b solved...eventually both will jus fall out...breaking up occur...n unhappiness arises...isnt it preposterous..??..i noe it is..mayb tts y im afraid to actualli fall in luv...im afraid to gt hurt...haiz...I dunNo...my fren keep askin me to go ahead n ask a gurl n wen i actualli told dem a gurl wld wan me to b her bf...i just rejected her...haiz...i mean i feel bad...mayb im just nt ready yet to commit to sum1 else otha den myself...i enjoy being single...but sumtimes it cn b lonely too...haiz...i duno....mayb its jus nt my time yet...i guess all i cn do is leave fate to lead me to my luv...hopefully soon!! im nt choosy but i jus wan to have sum1 tt i cn actualli luv n share my life wif till d end....tts my fairytale..but i guess fairytale are jus bogus!! sumtimes i feel tt im nt meant to actualli fall in luv or meant to b luv...mayb im fated to b single all my life...mayb tts it..mayb its true...mayb its true tt i will b single all my life...rot to death all alone...yup... i guess so....wadeva..haiz... ZhAnEy peace outz!
YoZ!! 2dae vry boring ar...stayed at hm all dae long...lazy to go out...hehe..actualli no hmwk ar...but i voluntered to do xtra hmwk...nid to practise for prelims...its cumin soon...so fast sia!! im scared...im scared...ppl hav faith in me...but i dun...no confident in passing anything...my mid yr suxs...so wd i gt 4th in class 4 mid yr...its nthy...i still failed 2 subjs...my weakest...as usual maths n sci..no surprise....haiz...hate myself..!! anywae 2dae my mei msg me sae sorri tt she make me sad yest..haiz...i undastand...u vry sad..i noe i noe...no worries ar...dun feel bad abt it...im worried 4 u oni...surely affect ur studies de...i dun like it u noe...i wan u to do well in ur exams...its cumin soon...so do ur best!!.. Nw im bored...at hm doin nthy...tot of studyin...but lazy sia...jus dun feel like it...im jus tired n dun feel like studyin anywae...coz it doesnt make any diff wht i study or nt...coz im gg fail...haiz..i jus know...i hav a gut feeling tt im gonna collapse n cry wen i gt my result...haiz..its jus too muc 4 me...dun put pressure on me ....plsplspls...dun make me feel so stress!! i wan pass wif 15 pts...its jus tt i feel so scared...scared of failing...i've nvr failed b4 in my life....i jus dun wan dis to b d begining....haiz...ZhAnEy peace outz!!
HaIz...in class 2dae vry boring...1st 3 period humans...den we haf to grp work..ok lar.. i luv d oing grp work..vry fun!! but hor i hav to present it sia....fuck lar my grp..evrythin i haf to do...dunno y..but i jus hate toking infront of so many ppl...still gt phobia..haiz...hate tt...tot it cured aldy..but by looks of it..i doubt so...haiz...den poa lesson..omg..poa is getting tougher n tougher by d sec...dunno still cn gt a1 nt..haiz..den aft recess 3 boring peroid of maths...its damn boring!!..haiz...im realli realli scared for my o lvl...especially my maths n sci...if i cnt pass tt 2 subj..i cn say byebye to biomedical course in ngee ann poly....sobx sobx...i criously terrified...im nt confident in myself to pass those 2 subjs...its jus hard..im lousy at it...i guess my dream of becoming a doctor is goin to b shattered...i shld jus say byebye to being a doctor in 10 yrs time...haiz..wd am i suppose to do..??... den went 4 prayers wif F,R,L...4 d 1st time yup wif dem....its fun...den we went home..upon reachin hm..i slpt sia...so damn tired i guess...slpt until 5...i noe i zhu..hehehe...den suddenly arnd i think 6+ ar... my mei msg me regarding her relationship...den i knew abt it all along ar but nvr tell her..so i told her....i feel bad nt to tell her but i shldnt interfere mahz...jus trying to help here...haiz...den she reply back.. she sae she hate me lor...nvr help her....she dun wan tok to me liao anymore... i ws like haiz...im trying to help u 2 4 goodness sake...u think im nt..???... haiz... wadeva man...criously...im trying to b a good kor here n a gd fren...but i guess all dey care its abt themselves....i noe im nthy to any1...but haiz...i wan u 2 happi...jus happi...me nt happi nvr mind...jus c ppl happi im realli happi liao...1 my mei 1 i treat him like me best fren...wd am i suppose to do..??....haiz...wadeva..i shld jus stop helping ppl or caring 4 others...n jus care n help myself nw..coz evrythin tt i did 4 ppl...dey jus dun appreciate it...haiz...nw im feeling vry sad relli relli sad...den actualli nw gt 1 person hate me aldy...haiz...sori mei... im realli sori...if u think tt im nt helping u ...den im nt fit to b ur kor....cya.... sad ZhAnEy signing off...peace outz!!
haiz...2dae i ws so DAMN tired n sleepy...mayb bcoz i slept late yest.. hahakz.. watch 1 of my fav show: living wif fran...BLOODY funni sia..2dae in skool..i ws so sleepy...n i gt headache sia...i hate it wen i gt headache...basically in class so boring... awaes study study.. i noe o lvl cumin.. but giv me a break.... im gg fall sick aldy sia..haiz...but 2dae during chem practical... i actualli broke a test tube 4 d 1st time sia... haiz..bcoz of my stupid headache.. i gt no mood to do d practical sia.. criously.. i think im falling sick..im troubled by my PROBS n frens PROBS... i mean i care 4 my frens n luv dem too much until i dun like to c dem suffer..i prefer to let me suffer den let dem suffer...dis is hw much i luv my frens...haiz...but do dey care..??..haiz... anywae..went hm aft humans remediation...i go online 2dae... n surprisingly my vry old colleagues online sia... miss dem so much!! den we tok n tok...den he wan to celebrate my bdae 2gther...n he wan to treat me sia... i so touched tt sum1 cared 4 me....i criously am lucky to hav a fren like him.. luv him to bits... n of course d rest S & E...wonda hw dey doin..hope dere fine..miss dem too!! den i sae im gg to hav a small reunion at my hse... den he sae we go c vcds n dvds 2gther..n he buy kfc jus 4 me..wah!! i so VRY D touch sia.. he sae long time nvr mit de mahz... so he dun mind de... i realli am touched to bits wen he sae tt... until i wanna cry sia....hehehehe.... nw still chatting wif hm.... hehehe... ok liao... gtg...still haf to mr wong... ask him wht i cn send hm d project to his email...n still waiting 4 my frens to send me deir reflection on China trip...haiz... whr r dey..??.anywae cnt wait till sept hols!!... ZhAnEy peace outz!
yoZ!! 2dae basically nthy ar...vry boring...HmM..dunno ar... ok lar...me fren sae awaes sad sad things i write... ok lar.. 2dae i sae sumthin happi.... me happi tt im surrounded by me frens...even though we nt tt close...but i guess i dun mind.. as long as i cn tk cr of dem N care 4 dem...wd d heck!! i LUV my frens...N WilL awaes do...its jus tt im gg to miss me frens aft we all graduate...its nt gg b d same again.. i dun wan history to repeat itself...nt like me n pri skool mates...i miss dem!! n i hope it wont happen again aft i graduate frm my sec skool life...hopefully...pls..pls...pls my frens.. promise me tt we will still b frens 4eva?? especially D,D,C,F,M,A,N...i luv dis 6 guys d most!! hope dey noe....dis yr gonna make a small reunion during my bdae!! yeah!! cnt wait!!..hope i cn make...wd d heck of course cn ar...its oni gonna b 4 me bestest frens evr which is D,D,C,F,M,A,N,Z....hope u guys cn come!! LUV U!!
HaIz...i jus feel so lonely...evry single dae im all alone..no1 2 tok u...i have no real bestfrens i guess... or even real frens... i think...i duno...evrytime i watch tv..dey show 3 frens 2gther havin gd time n all... n i sumtimes wish tt my life is like deirs..so fun havin 2 best frens to b dere 4 u wen u in trouble or wen u haf probs... u cn jus approach dem n b opened... n dey will awaes b dere 4 u...haiz... who am i kidding.. dere is no such person in d world like tt... tv dramas are so unreal...dey made it so ez..but truth is in real life..its DAMN hard!!...haiz...wd to do..??.. do i hav a choice...??..i sumtimes feel tt i shld nt hav been born into dis world..so ill b free of all dis NONSENSE in my life...haiz..its jus hurts...ppl do not noe hw i feel..but den again...who cares abt me rite... haiz..i've been trying my best nt to think of dis...but it jus did...my frens in skool are i cn sae d BEST FRENS i cld evr wish 4...but d consolation is..dey do nt noe hw i feel...shld i tell em..??..or shld i jus keep mum abt it..??..sum1 tell me pls..?.. im in nid of sum1 2 help me go thru dis obstacle...but who..??..haiz... ZhAnEy peace outz!!
YoZ!!! 2dae ar.. vry tiring ar... yest study like hell 4 2dae hist test lor..haiz... so sian..2dae nt bad ar...quite boring...eng we did acting...1 of ms jumiah entertainment 4 herself...hahakz.. it ws damn funni sia.. c ppl all act...i nvr acted 2dae...lucky sia... but wait still hav to do sia..haiz...i dun like to act...HmM.. A 2dae like so quiet sia...dunno y..?.. mayb sumthin bothering hm i guess...mayb bcoz he still luv S...n thinkin hw to tell C... HmM... dun worri bro.. wen dere's a will dere's a wae...dun worri ar.. ill help u...aft skool gt maths remediation.. walao!! so tired aldy sia..STRESS MAN!! haiz...im realli worried abt my maths... im jus lousy at it.. my frens are all like so gd in maths.. i feel so degrading...i feel so lousy...mayb tts y.. i jus mayb givin up on myself.. haiz...wd shld i do..??.. pls ans me .... PLS... i nid help.. b4 i collapse...haiz... ZhAnEy peace outz!!
HMm...came back frm China a wk nw... haiz.. still gt project to do sia... so sianz....hMm.. sumore i haf to do evrythin sia... hopeless!! damn hopeless!! haiz...wadeva man!! haiz... wan 2 rely on my grp members.. dey useless... haiz.. wd to do.. all so lazy... den wd i haf 2 do evrytin izzt... fuck u lar..!! im like dis close to exploding aldy.. dun make me until i gg to explode ar.. or ull b sorri.. nt nice to c me angry ar... its horrid!! totalli...MARK MY WORDS!! criously... nt d deadline is dis fri dated 14 july.. luckily sadrina helped me... thnxs sad...u did a gd job.. luvin it... den ask my d rst of d members to do deir experience during d china trip like so DAMN difficult like tt sia... so lazy to do... evrythin i hav to do... haiz....i dun care.. if u guys nt doin.. ill jus simply abort frm doin d project liao... den no1 else to do.. isnt tt great..??...fun bodoh!!.. wadeva... haiz... realli pissed off!! realli pissed off!!... i wanna go liao... nid to study 4 hist test sumore... ciao...ZhAnEy peace outz!!
Haiz.. gt mly o lvl oral sia..nt prepared.. i think gg flunk it i guess...omg!! d oral is like so UNXPECTED SIA!!...cn die sia... i think i fail liao lo... wd to do... its meant to be....HmM...den aft my oral.. andrew ask me pei him go tm to buy present 4 hs laopo ar... gg to b 4th month aldy sia... so happi 4 dem....of course happi ar.. 1 my young god sis n d otha my closest fren mahz.. of course happi 4 dem ar...i waited 4 him lor until 430..my oral finis early mahz.. den we went to tm take mrt ar.. hs laopo gt follow... den reach tamp mrt... he go send hs laopo to bustop... den i ask my fren pei wo arnd tm 1st ar while waiting 4 andrew ar.. den suddenly... he called...he sae bad news... he has to send hs laopo hm... i ws like WTF!! u ask me pei u n nw u sae u sendin ur laopo hm.. wah!! i ws realli pissed off u noe...realli wan to fuck sum1 aldy...i ws like FUCK lar..!! Cb!! waste my BLOODY TIME!!! pity me lehz.. if u were me.. oso d same reaction as me rite... haiz... wadeva man...realli feel like dirt rite nw...like as if u cn jus throw me whenever n wherever....haiz..wadeva man!! a PISSED OFF ZhAnEy SiGnIng Off... peace outz!!
haiz...almost open skool liao... but still haven finis doin ms juju hmwk... hahakz.. lazy sia... but still hav to do ar... role model lehz...haiz..so much responsibility....haiz...2dae vry boring ar.. whole dae do hwmkk... ciao!! ZhAnEy peace outz...
yay!! back frm Sg sia... but hor hav to go to maths remediation.. so sian.. but nvrmid..me n andrew gg to play badminton... yeah.. cnt wait until finish maths remediation sia... so long nvr play liao...duno still gd nt... We went to play at fengshan cc... ask my fren bk 4 me... he's d best pal u cld evr hav.. luv him so much.. thnxs nas!!... den we play wif my juniors ar... hahahakz... andrew play funni sia.. like ballerina(sori bro)... hehehe.. he lazy to stretch sia....i hav to do most of d stretching....it ws fun ar..!! vry fun...especially playin wif andrew...i mean i closer to him nw... but dunno lar...i jus cnt take d fact tt im neglected by my frens... its so HURTFUL.... nvrmind.. u guys duno hw i feel...haiz...wadeva... haiz... y i bring dis up again..nw tears rolin dwn me cheeks aldy...haiz...Zhaney dun b a cry baby lar!! dun awaes cry...STUPID ME!!STUPID ME!! haiz...my life jus suxs....anywae... back to d badminton thingy...hehehe.. u all shld realli c hw andrew plae.. funi sia..mayb next time shld ask his laopo cum c.. hahakz... jkjkjkjk.. dun b angry ar bro...hehehe... hmm.. tts all...ZhAnEy peace outz!!
SoBx SoBx... u noe y i cry..??.. coz 2dae last day of d beijing trip...gonna miss betty n CHina... but i guess all gd things mus cum to an end...So sad!! realli sad...We nid to visit 3 places b4 gg back to beijing capital ar...So boring nw.. but ltr gg shopping!! yeah!!! luv betty!!!hope will c her again...mayb ask her cum spore ar...aft all d boring stuffs are passed.. we went shopping.. i bgt a few stuffs....shoes...mp3...bracelet..etc....yeah ok lar.. nt muc time again though...still gt 87.50 Rmb....wasted...But omg!! i nvr buy stuffs 4 derran n fizah n my dad..die liao lo...SOrii... ill think of sumthin....nw otw to d airport...cnt wait to be home!! b4 tt mus take a lot of pics wif BEtty!! hahakz...realli gonna miss her... she's d best tour guide evry.. she is so patient wif us...Haiz...miss her.. luv her lor...nvrmind im sure we'll mit again... cya betty.. tkcr..!! zHaNeY peace outz!!
Wah!! woke up at 5 in e morning 2 wake my rmate...Walao!! ke lian wo leh...den he jus slpt back...Fuck sia...i so slpy...yest slpt at 3+ like tt...but ok ar.. used to it though....den we went to Qinghuadao sumthin ar.. 4gt liao.. hehehe...4 hr journey lehz....cn die sis...jus nw stop at karaoke...hehe.. toilet lar....hahahkz..so dirty sia...we bgt sum cookies to eat ar....wa lao!! i ws cheated sia...fuck d shop! d cover look so nice... inside like shit!cb! i think i do more evn nicer sia... sad but true!!.. haiz.. i gt dis feeling tt i miss sum1 sia..dunno lehz..mayb miss d gurl tt awaes msg me 24/7....its like vry weird tt she nvr msg me coz i in china mahz..HmM.. do i actualli miss her...?? anywae...A ws eating lollipop...Fuck sia!! he dun let me take hs pic while SUCKING ar... hehee... fuck him upside dwn den he noe..... den we reach to d hotel.. omg... so high class sia.. so grand... i think 5 star hotel sia!! cool.. d rm nice sia.. A&J rm vry d big.. mine ok lar.. coz nt corner mahz..HmM.. nthy else to write liao... ZhAnEy peace outz!!
the 4th day of d beijing trip..hehe... i overslept again..so nvr eat breakfast...so damn hungry....i slpt late again sia...hehe...oh well...its an xciting dae 4 us...we went to tiananmen sqr n forbidden city...yay!! but hor hen re lehz...correct nt ar..??.. hehe...i feel so weak 2dae..dunno y....vry sianz...den we went to a market tt sells cheap stuffs....Bloody cheap sia!! A&J regretted...haha..pity dem...den in a wae i promise A buy mp3 if gt xtra $$$...hehe.. i try my best bro....:)...nw gg to another market..gg buy a lot of stuffs!! yeah!!...... Aft a whoe dae of shopping clothes n jackets..we went to an acrobatic show...omg!! so boring sia...i almost fell asleep...J&A are like slping..zhu ar... hahahakz...den we went back to d hotel..nthy to do.. jus dilly dallying arnd d hotel n cleaning our bags...2dae our last dae in rainbow hotel....nw basically chilling at A&J rm....S&J are like asleep...A watchin tv..hate it lor... no subtitles...hw 2 undastand sia.....n im like bored...HmM.. i realli am wondering a lot sia...It's like A&S realli act like couple.. i mean honestly dey look VRY compatible...mayb dey realli like each otha...who noes....haiz.. ltr hav to help my roomate wif his packaging...ciao!! ZhAnEy peace outz!!
The 3rd dae of d beijing trip...it ws nt bad ar... we went to Summer palace...nthy special though... jus learning d history n stuffs..quite boring....den we went to a music skool.. dere's a performance 4 us.. cool!!n omg.. i hav to carry dis stupid boquet of flowers around the skool...i logistics mahz.. aiyoh!!den we went to a university to c arnd...boring...haiz... nw in e bus...listenin to my fav song...but make me sad de....sobx sobx..my life jus suxs... i so envious of ppl especially couples.. dey look so loving n stuffs...wish tt ws me.. but oh well cnt b helped....haiz....lazy to write aldy...cya...ZhAnEy peace outz!!
hehehe...2nd dae in beijing...cnt wait 4 dis dae coz..we gg to Great Wall of China..yeah!! but hor...all of us wake up late sia..hehehe...anywae it ws humongous!! i've been learning abt it n yearning to climb it.. n i did... i gt proof hor..hehe..it ws tiring though but it ws worth it! I ACTUALLI CLIMBED THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA??UNBELIEVABLE!! It's a great experience..furthermore..im here wif my frens...luv it!! den we went to ming tomb..dunno y mus go dere... its nt as if wen we go dere dey will awake frm d grave n grit us rite..?.. stupid!!Aiyoh.!! Aft a long dae of excitement...we went back to d hotel to rest........ Me,A,J,D went to A&J room to chill upon waiting 4 dinner....j is slpin...aiyoh pig sia he...gt take hs pic...D eating pork crackers..yum yum!! hahakz...A & S smokin in d toilet...haiz..im so disappointed..especially A...FuCk lar!! so much 4 quiting!! haiz..wadeva!!mayb i shld jus stop caring 4 otha ppl..dey dun even listen..wd 4 i care rite..?.. i noe its hard to chg..but wen dere's a will dere's a wae...HaiZ...stupid me!! wanted to chg 4 d worst..but wait i chg a lot ppl affected sia..but duno lar..haiz...sobx sobx... Aft dinner, we went to Wangfujing street to shop... gt oni 1 hr to shop sia...whr gt enuf..!!! my grp split up..me,J,A 2gther....n D&S 2gther...J&A buy mp4..D&S buy shoes,clothes..etc...n i bgt nthy...haiz... wadeva man!! Den we were late 4 10 mins sia..n ms jiang lectured us making us fell guilty n stuffs...hahakz...we were bored den went dwn to buy ice-cream...i nvr eat ar..ws reminded of sumthin sad..sobx..den we went dwn to d game rm...n omg..so many ppl...we played table tennis...den i play...i cld nt gt d ball in..den mayb i ws venting my anger or sumthin...i slam d bat on d table!! i ws like...wd did i do..?..is tt me..??i ws confused... later on aft playing...all of us went back to d room...all of us slp in d same rm....hehehe...S&A..me&J...dunno will werk nt..J slp aldy..den nw i gt no space to slp sia...den suddenly..A ask S sumthin funni..hehe...he ask wht her breasts is uncomfortable while slpin..hehehehe...A!! hahkz..strange i noe...let him be ar..hehe..ok i wanna slp liao...i nvr slp wif dem...no space...so went back to my room...cya..ZhAnEy..peace outz!!
During june holidae aft a grueling wk of study camp... me,A,D,S,J went to Beijing China...!! hehe..fun sia..of course 2gther wif a grp of 41 students consisting of xpress n na students.. it was the most wonderful xperience i had alone i guess.. i mean wif ma frens..w/o any parents...hahakz...d 1st dae ws unxpected i guess... J lost d passport on d 1st dae we reach to Beijing CHina...WTF! he ar... n of course a boi i dunno who lost hs wallet..so CARELESS!! bcoz of tt we cnt go eat in town..n instead we eat at 4eva king...omg..the you tiao is like so oily sia...!! d 1st dae ws terrible... mayb Beijing dun welcome us or sumthing..hahahakz..it rained...n omg its SO DAMN cold lor...wen d droplets drop n touch ur skin...its so icy cold...VRY VRY cold..cannot tahan sia...we took a lot pics...hahakz...nvr been dere b4 mahz...i took wif R...unbeliavable..i noe..he's ok..except he's jus arrogant...like duh uh!! Den aft tt we went to rainbow hotel..long sia..1 hr journey..haha..actualli nt bad ar...in d bus evry1 is like slping..all gt unique styles of slping..der's dis guy slp wif d mouth open sia..n Mr Wong is basically filiming it..hahahakz...so bad sia...i sit wif A..hehe..he oso slpin..nvrmd ar..evry1 is slpy...nt comfortable slpin in d plane...
Den hor..tt dae itself during d nite...it ws so sad sia..my fren dun even remembered my bdae..haiz...sobx sobx...i wanna cry...Fuck lar!! we were hungry so went down to d convenient store 2 buy stuffs...PSss...we went dwn secretly..hehe...none of d tchers knew..hehe..we are so naughty sia..tt ws d best part of it...hehe...anywae i ws so quiet...frowning n feeling sad all d wae....haiz...wrong mehz..??..to feel sad..sum1 4gt ur bdae..u noe its like so fucked up lor...!!haiz...i dun xpect my frens to buy me any presents..i jus wan dem to remember it,grit me n jus celebrate it wif me...tts all..izzt too much to ask meh..??..haiz...sum1 ans...to be continued....ZhAnEy peace outz!!
yoZ!! my second entry...enuf abt frenships probs... nw abt love probs!! haiz...dis is even more worse ar.... i still cnt 4gt abt F..I CRIOUSLY LUV her so much tt i would do anything jus to c her again...HELP ME FIND HER!! haiz... wadeva...its impossible anywae....im trying to 4gt her..n i fell in luv wif sum1 in my skool... her name is N... she reminds me of F...i dunno wht im subsituting her or wd.. but i guess d feeling is dere.. n i jus wan her so... but to my despair she's taken.. omg..!! my luv 4 her has aldy grew..n dis happen..haiz..mayb im nt fated to be in luv i guess....den back to square 1..nw i even yearn F more...miss her badly...den i met sum1 knew tt i gz cn sae my type.. dunno ar.. im nt sure wht i like her or nt...my fren kept teasing me...haiz..dunno ar...i noe im nt handsome or anything...but i hope a gd heart cn conquer all...haiz...F dun mind me of my looks.. last time i look more nerdy sia..but she still dun mind...but DAMN me!! hw cn i let her go awae frm me..haiz..STUPID ME!! if nt we will b 2gther for eternity...LUV HER LUV HER!! but wd cn i do..?.. jus relive d past n jus move on...or wd..??..i duno...haiz...i nid help guys...oh well...ZhAnEy..peace outz!!
yoZ!! wassup!! hahaha... d 1st dae i start to do my blog... hMmm... let me jus start wif a sad dae tt happen dis yr... haiz.. i wanna cry nw... haiz.... my life jus suxZ! i jus duno who my real frens ar... its jus tt i feel VRY neglected..left out...even an XTRA...Haiz... i duNno.... Mayb i jus mix wif d wrong grp of frens or not meant to have any... REALLI miss my PRI sKool mates badly... they're d best!! I luv dem so much... muakz...haiz...:( BuT tt are all in d past... nw we cn oni mit up mayb once in a blue moon... some sae 5 yrs.. walao!!.. so long sia... i cnt wait tt long!! Nw im mixing wif a grp of frens tt care 4 me n i cn c tt u guys do care...yup... i appreciate it...thnxs a lot u guys!! but i guess i still feel neglected n left out most of d time..mayb coz u all are like so BLOODY close n same class..so mix arnd easily..c each otha evry single dae...haiz...but nt me.. sobx sobx...i didnt voice out my pain coz i guess u all dun really care abt me..(tears rolling dwn my cheek while typing dis dwn) Dis grp chg me alot..i bcome more talkative tend to open up more..last time i ws so quiet..criously..like my mouth gt glue like tt... hehe... i tend to keep things alot to myself..bottle evrything up...up till nw i still do...haiz...DeRe's D,D,C,M,F...i feel vry xtra u noe..u guys are like so complete w/o me i guess...all of dem so close...n im jus like d odd 1 out...haiz...I jus like wanna cry thinkin of dis..nw D & C are 2gther!!..so happi 4 dem!! been waiting 4 dis dae to cum...its hard 4 me 2 actualli gt closer to dem coz we're in diff class..haiz....tt suxs big time...5 of dem 2gther n im alone...im nt close to any1 in class xcept A i guess...(i dunno wht i cn rely on him though) haiz...wadeva man!! sobx sobx.. its obvious tt im d XTRA 1...i didnt xpect u guys 2 undastand...furthermore..u guys nvr tell me anything..especially wen i ask D abt sumthin..he jus sae i dun nid to noe...tt is d time i noe whr my plc realli is..NOWHR!!! FUCK lar!! coz none of u guys actualli cared abt me..haiz... oh well... Nw i've been trying to mix arnd wif A...but i guess he prefers to mix arnd wif hs bros n nppc mates...i undastand de....no worries..Its hard to substitute u guys wif him..i knew u guys since sec 1.. n jus knew him sec 3 n close to him dis yr i guess..haiz..Other den tt...nw i gt a god sis tt care 4 me.. but i told her to pae more attention to her laogong betta....:) im nthy to any1..CRIOUSLY i think ppl treat me like DIRT!! haiz..wadeva!!... Sorri u guys 4 nt telling u dis...it doesnt make any diff u guys noe abt it...peace outZ!! ZhAnEy..
