Depressions of Life

Thursday, August 30, 2007

yoz!!
its been almost a wk i haven update
muahahahahaha
well 1 of d reasons is tt i simply haf no mood ah

last wk sat went to der's chalet
celebrated hs bdae wif hm
it didnt relli go as planned
im worried for him
hope he's fine
Tcher's day miting my besties again =)

days goes by it jus gets worst
my mood and everything
i jus dunno wd to do
confidence level dropping and dropping
d thot of failing still lingers in my mind over and over again
i hate it so much lar
i noe myself relli well
if i cnt do sumthin i relli cnt
i jus dun gt it y ppl believe in me so much??
im nt destined for greatness lar ppl
i noe myself i relli do
but y??
y do ppl care so much abt me oso??
i love my frens so much
i care so much abt dem
d last thing i wanna c dem is to gt hurt or sad
im relli am worried abt my frens
to all my frens if u guys nid sumone to tok to or lend u a listenin ear
ill be dere for u guys =)

a few days ago tok to pak an
n yeah he's been a great help
luv him so much cn!!
hahahahahaha =)
tok to him abt probs i've been facing
coz i evrytime in skool look so sad emo V quiet
i kinda glad i tok to him =)
thnxs bro!!

jus nw we celebrated Hairul and Felicia bdae!!
wake up early in d morn jus to buy cake for dem
me n amin n pak an
as usual pak an was late hahahahaha
walk around to find d best cake n at last found it!!
went for BFD n oh boy i ws bored to death
den OFA came n we had to do a mock test
i ws damn frustrated cn!!
i cnt gt it right!!!! arggggggg
bt on d plus side
i gt A for my excel CA!!!
yayness!!! im so happy can
i didnt expect it sia
i tot i wld fail lar criously i tot i wld fail
den aft skool celebrated Hairul and Felicia bdae
went to d swimming pool area
we were suppose to strip and throw Hairul into d swimming pool
but he gt away he run so fast can!!
hahahahaa
in d end we had to settle for saboing him wif cake on his face
muahahahaha n we did it!!
yayness!!
HOPE U GUYS ENJOYED D SMALL CELEBRATION!!!

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY HAIRUL AND FELICIA!!!
STUDY HARD AH
AND MAKE IT TO POLY IN 2 YRS TIME!!!
GLAD TO NOE U GUYS!!
LUV YA LOTS!!
MUAXXS!!

Lost nowhere @ 10:19 PM

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Saturday, August 25, 2007

pak an was so stressed up lar!!! muahahahahaha
pity him sia!! =)

To pak an:
26 is d most important dae sia
hw cn u 4gt sia
i so sad sia
muahahahahaha
actuali its nthy lar
relli nthy trust me
its relli nthy u trust me rite??
now i sae its relli nthy lar i purposely wanna c ur reaction n c wht ur gg think wd izzt not
muahahaha
n oh boy u were so stressed up lar
sorie lar sorie kae??
jgn marah tau
takot nanti aku =(
hehehe
actualli d impt dae is tt i tot of bringing all of us to study 2gther lar
hehehehe
study afd lar
coz i worried sia for all of u
so we shld study 2gther cn teach u all
cn ask me jus abt anything lar
im here to help u guys =)
hehehe
sorie eh pak an
didnt mean to make u so stressed up ah
jgn marah =)
SORIE SORIE SORIE SORIE SORIE

Lost nowhere @ 12:27 AM

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Friday, August 24, 2007

wow!! amazing!!
its been 4 daes i haven blog lar
i dun remember wd i did
hahahahaha sad but true

let me c wd i cn remember ah
on tues met up wif my fren to revise on maths but in d end we nvr relli did ah
we end up toking
hahahaha
i noe i noe i shld b studying but its jus tt i cnt do it!!!
i cnt even do a simple maths sum!!
wd's more o lvl standard!!
gosh im in dead meat!!
haix die die die

on wed
aft skool went out wif my pak an n ct
went out didnt noe whr to go
went to bugis 1st to find a plc to eat
in d end we went to harbourfront
to eat at NEW YORK PIZZA!!
woohoo 1st time eating!!!
hahaha sad but true =) hableahxha
n omg!! its so bloody damn nice can!!
so cheap sumore u noe!!
thnxs pak an for intro-ing me to dis
hahahaha n yeah yeah its halal!! i noe i noe
aft tt went to accompany ct to SGH to visit her aunt
c i told u evrything willl b fine!! dun worry aite
chatted wif ct brother hamzah at d cafe in SGH
hahahaha so crappy can!! he n pak an almost d same attitude(perangai) lar
muahahahaha its true!!!
den me n pak an took mrt home
chatted wif him abt my probs lar
n yeah he ws d 1st to noe abt d deeper of d probs
i dunno y i cn jus tok to him like tt ah
but its jus tt i trust him so much lar
i treat him like a brother =)

on thurs
didnt went to skool
coz i gt o lvl eng oral
gosh i ws so damn scared n nervous lar
butterflies in my stomach
i wasnt relli tt prepared lar
i was like d 13th or 14th candidate lar
so long haf to wait sia
die sia sumore so cold lar
i wanted to go toilet but had to tahan lar coz scared dey wont let me go lar
hahahaha wait kenna scolded more terrible rite
had d oral n yeah it ws overall ok lar
cldnt relli concentrate coz i wanted to go toilet badly urgent!! cant take it lar
bt i relli hope i did gd =)
aft tt i went home straight lar
ask my fren wht wanna go out for awhile eat or sumthin
but i didnt relli had d mood in d end
i told dem no nid mit me de
but dey insisted it
dey even came to my plc lar jus to c me
im so touched can!!
lol hahahaha
so decided to eat lo
we 3 ate nasi ayam penyet
its nice ah not bad not bad
hahahaha aft tt dey all went home lo
coz its late aldy n yeah pak an n ct wanna watch prison break!!
muahahahaha

on fri
lessons as usual
gt back my mock test
scored 54.5/60
ok lar it aint tt bad
makes stupid careless mistakes sia!!
damn!!!
aft skool went to eat at KFC
den i told pak an tt dis sun on 26th impt dae de
hahaha
he ws so stressed cn!! coz he couldnt crack wd izzt
pity him sia bleahx =>
den go prayers
watch movie aft tt RUSH HOUR 3
its do damn hilarious lar d show!!
hahahaha throughout d movie all i cn do is laugh lar
muahahahahaha
movie ended at aroyund 4+
i miting my fren around 630
so still gt time
pak an cldnt think whr to go so me n ct decided to go sun plaza park lo
i ws like emo all d wae lar
cnt belive sia!!!
i feel so bad lar
walked alone 1 round listenin to emo songs
gosh i ws relli damn depressed n troubled
i feel so bad for pak an n ct to b dere
dey had to put up wif my emo-ing
reli sorie guys =(
dey went home straight coz ct had to go home early

so i went walk around tm while waiting for my sis to cum
we went to eat at NEW YORK PIZZA!!
hahahaha
so nice lar
muahahahaha
i luv it lar!! den we tok n tok n tok all d wae
its fun!! relli miss d time spent together in sec skool life
haix
bgt pressie den wanted to mit up wif sew
but both of us were too tired aldy
sorie sew we'll mit up for d chalet ltr!! cant wait!!

DERRAN TURNING 18 SOON!!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Lost nowhere @ 11:07 PM

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Monday, August 20, 2007

on sun ws my last day of werk

finally!! dun haf to werk le

werk relli taken my time n i jus hate werking aldy ah

i noe i noe i cnt believe i said that too

i luv werkin so much lar

but too many things have been happening

so stop werkin is kinda relieving phew ^^

d 1st pic of a pizza

ever since the cheezybite pizza was launch back

im the one who have been preparing it

so nice rite i make?? muahahahahaha

i jus luv my werk lar hableahzha =)

nw i relli gg mish werkin dere n doin the pizza

haix

Mon came

i relli dread mondays its d start of the week

n i awaes gt monday blues lar tts y i awaes wear blue polo tee to skool no matter wd

so i kinda emo forawhile lar awhile oni lar

hahahahaa

2dae nthy much happened jus same same thing lo

we all finished early n im miting my fren for studying for e maths

so decided to send my laopo home 1st lo

muahahahaha tok all d wae lar non-stop de

den send her until her home

her dog so cute can jus like d person =)

d pic above lo i take great pics sia bleahx

a pity i cnt touch dogs if nt i play wif it aldy sia

so cute can!! muahahahaha

Nw i feel so slpy le

gg slp soon!! *yawns*

Lost nowhere @ 11:57 PM

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Friday, August 17, 2007

after 5 days being sick i finally able to cum back to skool on wed but still i wasnt fully recovered yet =( miss my classmates so much lar!!!
Bcoz of that my frens forced me to eat d chicken porridge(above)
I HATE PORRIDGE CAN!!
porridge is only for sick ppl
and apparently i am one lol
hahahaaha
but nvrmind
its for my own gd
ya i noe i noe i cnt eat anything wan
sick mah sians

on thurs was my class QC 4th month anniversarry!! its been a great 4 months together with them love dem loads lar!!

so i decided to bake muffins for dem =) woke up early in d morn jus to bake it

its so nice lar

hahahaha

luv it cn!!

all my classmates sae its damn nice

muahahaha sumore its oni my 1st attempt phew

luckily it turn out great =) yipee!!!

skool finished early so my grp MRC well almost d whole grp went to city hall to shop around

n yeah we went to suntec city and queued for DONUTS at donut factory(above)

D donuts so damn nice can!!

i ate strawberry white choco n double choco!! YuMmY!!!

im gg buy more next time!!

2dae skipped skool coz dere's oni 1 pathetic lesson n its oni 1 hr lar

so skip lo im such a BAD BOI!!! muahahahahahahaha

so decided to play badminton lo at tamp sportshall wif pak an ct my buddy andrew me =)

its so fun to play badminton ah wif frens!! relli mish d time i played in tournaments!!

played for 3 hrs den headed to pak an hm to bathe, ate dere as well

n u noe wd?? pak an cook for us leh u c d pic above

that is how he cook for us fried maggie

muahahahaha he use microwave oven to cook d noodles

so called shortcut ah tt ws d 1st time i actualli saw sum1 do that lar

well dere's awaes a 1st in evrything =) hahahahas

shortly aft tt we went to tamp to play arcade for awhile n head down to jalan kayu to haf dinner

met up wif wei rong n his fren louis

we all had fun tokin n making fun of louis de

hehehehehehe nice fellow

den all of us went home lo

(actualli i lazy blog lar)

anywae d whole entire dae ws ok ah apart frm me being emo most of d time wen im alone =/

sad relli i duno ah wds happening to me

i jus kip thinkin wd wld happen to me if i failed again?! wtf!!!

y do i kip thinkin abt tt lar

haix i dunno wd to do lar sianz

im scared oso lar

i wanted to tok to dem abt it but i think i betta not

i hate to let my frens worry abt me lar

so i jus kept quiet most of the time sorie though

all of us went home straight lo

LAZY TO BLOG LE

NO MOOD ALDY LAR!!

TOO MANY TO WORRY ABOUT!!

GONNA QUIT MY JOB SOON!!

THIS SUNDAY WILL BE MY LAST DAY!! =)

Lost nowhere @ 11:24 PM

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Monday, August 13, 2007

UrGgG Im So BLOODY sick!!
its been 3 days aldy
i didnt c a doc coz i had to werk
sorie lar sorie kae ct n pak an
i noe i shld haf listened n go c doc =(
now i cant go skool 2dae
sad sia =(
now rotting at home dunno wd to do
BORED!!

dese few days i've been thinkin
can i actualli make it the second time?
y can't i jus believe in myself??
izzt that hard to do that?
haix well to me it is
im afraid tt if i reli did study hard but in d end i still failed
wont i acualli feel that im WORTHLESS and STUPID??
i would definitely feel im a FAILURE!!!!
but den again if i didnt study hard i definitely will fail isnt it??
I DUN WAN TO FAIL AGAIN!! I RELLI DUN WAN!!
IM SCARED TO FAIL!!!
i wouldnt noe wd to do if i failed!!!
haix

i noe i haf ite education as a backup plan
but i dun think ill b able to do well
for example my bfd ca i gt like 39/50
for sum ppl its considered amazing aldy
but not for me
i wld feel that i can do betta!!!!
n hell yeah i cn!!
argggg
but its just aiyah nvrmind!!

ct n pak an
i noe lar i shld jus tell u guys wd's bothering me
but i jus dun wan u 2 to worry abt me that's all
i dun wan my probs to b a burden to my frens
i'd rather suffer in silence by myself =)
its for my own gd ah
hope u guys undastand =)

chattin wif bestie daniel
heard he is sick too
hope he's ok
u betta go c doc aite
before it worsens
tk cr dude cya 2moro for studying!!
cant wait!!!

I RELLI WANNA DO WELL IN MY O LVL!!!
PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS
HAMDAN BELIVE IN URSELF AGAIN!!!
hAiX =(

u noe wd i miss my ite frens aldy =)

Lost nowhere @ 11:45 AM

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Thursday, August 09, 2007

ouCh!!
my body is still like aching lar!!
argggg
2moro gt badminton sumore
sian hw to play badminton sia
daMn!!!

at hm all day long
im so dead bored can!!
i didnt even sang 2dae lar
dunno y jus no mood
dese few days been kinda cranky
Im still trying to get over the same damn thing each day
but still no luck in doin it
its me its solely my prob and nobody's else
sumthin in me jus dun wan to settle dis prob of mine
but i duno wd izzt relli
mayb i noe but i jus dun wan to face d reality
haix im jus devastated

i think i like this gurl
bt afraid she doesnt like me =(
she's jus cute adorable lar
muahahahaha
hope i cn take all d courage within me to tell her i like her
hope everythin goes well

next tues miting bestie daniel for revision
yayness!!'
cant wait!!

Lost nowhere @ 9:44 PM

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Wednesday, August 08, 2007

2dae NATIONAL DAY CELEBRATION is the most boring event ever in skool
for d 1st time in my life
d celebration ws dead BORING!!!!
i assure u everyone agrees to that
finished skool early
slack n eat in skool for awhile
den went to harbourfront
check out d price for d cable cars trip n decided not to
dere will b plenty of time to take d cable cars trip
hopefully we will take it 2gther b4 i go =)
so decided to watch movie the SIMPSONS movie
muahahahaha
its so stupid but funny sia
wth!! i laugh like hell lar
its definitely so much betta den harry potter and the order of d phoenix
tt was a big disappointment relli
aft d movie went to slack around vivo dunno go whr lo
pak an suppose to do an encore of the titanic but he nvr did
sad sia =(
ill still wait for it
pak an ct accompanied me until my fren came well not relli
i told dem to go off 1st coz both of dem look tired n yeah dey accompanied quite long aldy
thnxs guys!!
but so sorry that i emoed today
relli i am sorry
i ws jus reminded of things tt i didnt wan to remember
haix relli sad relli sad

waited for my sis(fizah)
at last able to mit up wif her lar mish her so much cn!!!
accompanied her to shop around vivo
hahaha
we went to alot of shops lar
none were to our likings
we tok n tok alot lar
muahahaha
mish all tt sia
den on our wae back
we bumped into dan cher dey all
muahahahaha
was surprised!!! but glad to c dem =)
mish dem so much cn!!
i miss d old days
haix
aft tt me n fiz went home straight
im so dead tired right now
jus feel like slping
luckily 2moro hols
yayness!! but gg mish my classmates lar
luv dem loads aldy!!!

HAPPY 42ND SINGAPORE!!

Im begining to miss her again
dun ask me who coz i wont sae
im nt sure wht i still haf feelings for her
but i jus wanna c her again
its been 5 long yrs
haix
i wonda wen will we ever mit again
but hopefully soon
MISH HER SO MUCH CAN!!

Lost nowhere @ 11:54 PM

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Tuesday, August 07, 2007

1st day of gym
i didnt tot tt i wld actualli go to gym
i wanted to but jus nt now
but yest went to accompany my fren to gym
i dunno y i AGREED mayb its bcoz im jus too nice n bsides dere's no harm rite?!
muahahahaha
had to wake up early in d morn around 845 to go to tamp
b4 tt i tok on d fone wif pak an n ct
so u guys shld noe tt i dun haf enuf slp
anywae went to gym i ws late
sori amin
1st time gg into d gym
everything ws alien to me
it ws like im in anotha world or dimension
evrything ws new to me
i didnt noe wd to do 1st
did alot of exercises such as running on the treadmill lifting dumbells pull up sit ups
basically i did most of the exercises dere available =)
gosh it ws 1 damn tiring morn for me
but i kinda felt great tt i actualli for d 1st time in my life went to gym
muahahahaha
cnt blive it either until 2dae
amazing
nw i finally cn sae tt I'VE BEEN TO GYM!!
muahahahahaa
i wana go gym again
BUT not nw lar
im like aching all over lar
i nid to recover 1st cn
i cnt even stretch my hand my whole upper body is jus strained
argggg
n i gt badminton dis fri
gotta recover frm it quick
hahahahas

anywae aft tt went home n met up wif pak an ct
dey came over my hse to do afd hmwk
well we kinda did it
but all of us are jus stressed on bank recon cn
i cnt even solve thing stupid thing lar
bank recon suppose to b ez ppl!!
arrgggg
y cnt i jus undatsand it?!?!
shortly aft i think around 1 1/2 hr of afd
as pak an relli badly want to watch the show 300
we watched it
n omg its jus an amazing show cn!!
i like the killing of ppl
hw dey kill deir enemies
its jus cool n awesome lar
hw d head being cut off jus like tt legs cut off
blood gushing out like nobodies business
muahahahaha
but i gotta sae tt its kinda stupid relli
hw cn 300 ppl kill a gigantic elephant
its relli stupid
but otha den tt d show is pretty cool n exotic
i like it very much!!
me n pak an enjoyed it however ct ws basically sleeping
coz all of us slpt late yest
pity dem aft dis dey had to go to werk
boo hoo!!!
muahahahahaha
ok lar werk gt money mah
all of us are broke aldy lar
so dey went to werk n i basically jus chill at home

I STILL CANT BELIEVE I WENT TO GYM!!!!

Lost nowhere @ 10:11 PM

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Saturday, August 04, 2007

on wed
had my EXCEL CA
haix
so disappointed cn!!
arggggg
stupid IF!!! bcoz of tt i dun think i cn maintain my B average for OFA
STUPID SIA!!

on thurs
bfd ws cancelled
so i came to skool jus to go for d maths trail oni
wth!!
waste my time oni sia
so hard cn the maths
all of us had probs doin it lar
hahaha
its so funni cn!!
nisha n aziza
kept askin d guys dere to help dem
ask wht its correct ask wds d formula n all
hahahaha
it ws funni!!
but all of us had fun doin it!!

on fri ws d best dae ever!!
at nite celebrated pak an bdae!!
bt b4 tt i went to dis seminar
it ws my 1st time dere
n oh boy i enjoyed every moment of it!
thnxs guys for everything!!
it finished late n i ws late for pak an celebration
SORI PAK AN FOR BEING LATE
in d end i reach late wif d cake
ate d cake n saboed pak an
muahahahahaha
his face ws all covered wif cake
i took both of my hands wif cake n jus smoosh it on his face!!
muahahahahaha
fun sia!!
sori pak an =)
all of us were messy n dirty
suppose to b 10-12 ppl gg
but in d end oni 6 turn up including pak an
dere ws me,ct,herman,amin,elynn(amin's fren) and of course d BDAE BOI!!
LUV DEM LOADS FOR CUMIN!!
sori abt it pak an!!
d plan ws ruined

dere ws moments tt i emoed
alone in d night
i luv it so much!!
i love d night
i cried again
i awaes cried wen i emoed
coz i jus hate my life so much!!
I HATE BEING ALONE!!

so aft tt we all went cycling to one end to the otha
hahahaha
it ws fun lar
been quite a long time since i cycled
cycled wif my frens is even more fun cn!!
i ws tired n hungry so stop at mac to eat breakfast
we hang out at mac for awhile n played taiti
soon we went cycling again n watch d sunrise 2gther
had loads of fun!!
took pics but its nt wif me
ill post dem up next time
muahahahaha
we had to stop d fun coz amin gt dragonboat
so all of us eventualy headed home
send ct home 1st
den accompanied pak an to register his basic theory test for car liscence
muahahahaha
pak an u gt ur driver's liscence mus drive me around in singapore tau!!
muahahahahaha
den all us headed home coz we are jus too tired n slpy
hahahaha

i slpt around at 1 den woke up at 8:42pm
muahahahaha
so nice to slp sia!!

HAPPY 18TH BDAE PAK AN!!
HOPE YOU ENJOYED D DAE WIF US
ALTHOUGH ITS ONI A FEW OF US
SORI IF ITS NOT GREAT
HOPE YOU LOVE D VEST!!
TK CR!!
LUV YA BRO!!
STAY HAPPY FOREVA!!

NAS THANXS FOR EVERYTHING!!
LUV YA LOADS!!

Lost nowhere @ 9:38 PM

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