Depressions of Life

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Be Strong Be Strong

That is what i have been telling myself to be
be strong hamdan
be strong for yourself
but i cant i relli cant
i jus dunno y
I've completely lost it guys
i tot i could do what i could to be strong
but its jus not possible
not only its hurting me terribly its stop me from tryin to be happy
for once i wanna smile without hurting myself and pretending to smile
WHY CANT I JUS BE HAPPY??

I kip telling myself not to cry
but i cant help it
everytime wen im alone in the middle of the night in my room listening to kelly clarkson 'Because of you'
it simply reminded me of my past
its a meaningful song and it totally describes my life
im a very emotional person
i would breakdown with tears automatically
gosh im emabarassed
a guy crying wat a disgrace
but i dun care doesnt mean ur a guy u cant cry
we're afterall jus humans u noe
oh wells
MY LIFE IS PATHETIC

Im giving up
i cant believe it im actualli GIVING UP
after so long of perseverance im actualli giving up
am i?? shld i??
i cant do it anymore guys i reli cant
its draining me hard
i dun wan to suffer all my life u noe
but is giving up for the time being the solution??
i dunno but all i noe that mayb its for the best(confused)
I nid to tok to sumone now before i relli do giv up
haix

SICK

i was sick for 4 days and still am
having the FLU which comprises of fever sorethroat cough and flu like duh
gosh im awaes getting sick
and i noe y
just yest me n my besties went to slpover at fizah's hse
dere were me,der,dan,fiz,cher,ner,sew,mer
yeap 8 of us
MOVIE MARATHON TIME!!
we watch the SHUTTER!! gosh its the all time horror movie to watch!!
hahaha its scary
everyone was basically screaming n shouting lar that nite
hahaha it was hilarious!!
wanted to watch another horror movie but fizah didnt wan it so its ok
d nite ended being everyone slping except me n sew
hahahaha dey jus too tired bah
d nite was short but i njoyed every min of it
luv spending time wif my besties so much!!
dey awaes brightens up my life =)
love u guys lots!!

dan i noe that ur unhappy
i undastand wd ur feeling rite now
but dun despair dun giv up
i noe u can do it
dis is oni d 1st semester
im sure u cn do betta in d next semester
buck up aite concentrate more on ur studies rite now
im proud that u actualli tok to us telling wds bothering u
it does feel betta isnt it
dun haf to worry wht u broke down or wd i dun care abt that
i relli hope ur alrite dan
im awaes here if u nid me =)
jus treat dis as a lesson learnt
everything gonna b alrite
trust me =)
love u man!!
cant wait to mit u guys again dis coming christmas eve!!

Lost nowhere @ 11:22 PM

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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

WORST MAKEOVER EVER IN HISTORY OF MAKEOVER!!!!!

2 daes ago went out wif my besties cher fiz der
went to haf our FREE makeover at bugis
hahahaha we gt it so wd d heck dun go like wasted rite
the ppl dere giv attitude can
i tell u d make up SUX!!
the hairdo SUX!!
the pic SUX to the core sia!!
JEAN YIP MAKEOVER SUX!!
DUN EVER GO THERE FOR MAKEOVER!!
TRUST ME PPL!!
so aft the disastrous makeover we went to haf dinner at MAC
my hair looks horrible can!!
hahahahaha i actualli went out wif a SUCKY hair at bugis!! great!! der goes my reputation =(
went around to bugis street to find der sweatshirt but no size for him saded
aft that headed dwn to tm to walk around
i was suppose to go cut hair but changed my mind
fizah had to go off early
so me der cher went to slack at starbucks and tok lo
shortly dan came n join us
it was pretty late by den so i had to go off before i miss my last bus
but yeah it was great to hang out wif dem =)
many misses!!

the next day
met up wif my bro hermi AT LAST!!
we played badminton for like 2 hrs i was late for 15 mins SORRY
aft that we headed home coz i miting my fren at 3 n 4 to watch movie but he dun wan
so met up wif him later aft d movie
met up wif derran again to pei him find his sweatshirt at fareast plaza
walk around no nice sweatshirts sia!! -.-
wanted to go sumwhr else go find but i had to go mit my fren farhan n siti liao to watch movie
so he sent me off n went to GREAT WORLD CITY!!
it was my 1ST time ever sia!! muahahaha
i noe i noe im a SINGAPORE NOOB!!
we watch ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS!!
its a veri nice show!! i wld recommend ppl to watch it can!!
they are so CUTE!!
muahahaha
d show ended around 630 so met up wif bro hermi and went to hav dinner at NEW HAWA RESTAURANT
i ate mee goreng it was damn spicy!!
nw im havin stomach ache!! dang it!!
played pool aft that at parklane
it was fun!! played for 2 hrs i guess
it was late for farhan and siti so dey went home first
so me n hermi slacked at ps MAC
drank n ate n tok
shortly aft my sis came
headed home at 12 took bus 65
rch home nearly 1
hermi slpover my hse
tok n tok
he repaired my comp internet connection and speakers
now its working!! yayness!! thnxs bro!!
now im watchin a movie and he's takin a short nap
he has a long dae ahead ltr
gg wake him up at 7am
im all alone blogging noone is online saded =(
i think aft sending off hermi off im gg slp =)

Lost nowhere @ 5:15 AM

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Sunday, December 16, 2007

Yest was the last day of registering CAT
i did not register it
oh wells i relli hope i make the right decision =)
i relli hope so

on fri met up wif my besties
dere were oni me fizah cher,ner,sew
went to clarke quay
met up wif bestie daniel(he was werkin)
gosh its been a long time since i saw him can!!
many misses!!

we slack at ljs to haf our dinner
den went on to starbucks to chill and wait for daniel to finis werk =)
it was fun to be wif everyone again
many loves =)

we gona haf slpover soon!!
cant wait for that!!

Lost nowhere @ 10:44 PM

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Friday, December 14, 2007

SAD/EMO

nowadays i've been very quiet in sch
izzt so wrong to be quiet meh??
its nt tt i wan to be
its jus that too many things in my mind right now
its the SAME DAMN THING!!!
haix

sch hols hAv arrived!!
muahahahahaha at last!!
no nid wake up early anymore!! YESSAR!!

so yest on thurs
went to play badminton wif pak an siti amin wei rong naziran
sum ppl were to cum as well but dey nvr did
oh wells
played for 2 hours
den head for KFC for lunch
all of us dunno whr to go aft that so decided to go VIVO
bsides pak an gg to werk
aft sending pak an to werk
all of us went walking around lo
went in toysrus hahahaha
got a lot of pics taken well not relli a lot lar
ill upload it next time
den went to eat at BEN & JERRY
that was my first ever BEN & JERRY i/c
hahahahaha
all of us headed home lo coz it was pretty late liao
and evryone was tired aldy

TOMORROW MEETING MY BESTIES!!!
YESSAR!! CANT WAIT!!!
MUAHAHAHAHAHA

I THINK IM GONNA FLUNK MY MPS CA!!
HAIX

Lost nowhere @ 12:54 AM

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Thursday, December 06, 2007

The queue was damn long can!! we were at d back!!

It get shorter and shorter by the minute

The receipt

End result?? Me & pak an got our drinks!! Caramel frapucino & Ice blended chocolate chip!!

Sew and Me

it was raining since morn
gosh i hate rainy days
reminds me of sumthing sad =(
haix
anywae 2dae sch as per normal
suppose to do BCM roleplay at 9am but amin was late
so reschedule it to 12pm
hahahaha
ROLEPLAY was STUPID realli
hahahaha
but it was a job well done to d group!!
its OVER guys!! we can haf a breather
the script we like finis it in 2 days lar
and amazingly d tcher sae d content is VGOOD!!
muahahaha arent we great or are we great?!?!
but sad to say we wsnt d best dis time
we didnt haf much time to prepare for the roleplay tts y
nvrmind at least we did what we can!!
KUDOS GUYS!!

aft roleplay went to eat at simpang
den head back to sch for our elective
sian so lazy to go back but oh well jus go lo
it ended early n i didnt wan to go back too early so head down to tamp wif pak an & siti
walked around tm to window shop to kill time until siti's mum rch der
siti went off wif d mum
me n pak an went to walk around TM & CS again coz we criously haf no idea whr to go
suddenly we saw dese long queue outside STARBUCKS!!
i tot wd sia den pak an recalled that dey were giving free drinks as christmas was nearing
at first we didnt wan to queue up but aft much persuasion by pak an i queued up wif him
omg!! i tell u dis is d first time i actualli queued up to gt sumthing for free!!
crious!! i've never done this b4
this is so typical kiasu SINGAPOREAN can!!
all thanxs to PAK AN!!
MUAHAHAHAHAHA
oh well but i did haf fun!!
in total we queued up for abt 30 mins!! wow!!

and it jus brightens up my dae wen i met up wif bestie sew
hahahaha
many hugs!!
nice to c u again!!
she was wif her atractive frens
the guy she said was d most handsome guy in the class that cn make it
n yeah its true
he was!! he look arabic i think mix bahz
hahahahaha

head home coz it was already late
muahahahahaha

y mus it rain nowadays??????
haix =(

Lost nowhere @ 8:00 PM

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Wednesday, December 05, 2007

u noe wd guys?!?!

Im not takin the CAT examination liao
apart of me want to take it but apart me dun
coz im scared that i CANT COPE and afraid that ill giv up halfaway

oh well
my decision wasnt ez to make
i tok to alot of ppl relli
my besties helped me alot
thanxs cher der sew mer in meeting me to tok abt dis
appreciate it alot!!
d oni thing i hope is that i dun regret dis decision =(
it will daunt on me everydae
but i relli relli hope i make the right decision =)

YESSAR!!!

Lost nowhere @ 9:29 PM

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Sunday, December 02, 2007

Each dae passed
d wound became bigger and bigger
it hurts even more right now
i cant let go of the past
well not right now
even though my past hurts me so bad
y cant i jus let it go
forget it forget the past!!!!
fuck it !!!

sumtimes i jus wish to lose my memories
so i wont be able to remember how a HUGE failure i was in d past!!!
hahaha it wont happen

it relli pains me to pretend to be happy infront of my family and frens
and i dunno how long i can hold out much longer
im collapsing soon i noe i am
but der's nothing i can do abt it!!!
fucking it hate it!!!

im so STRESSED OUT!!
should i take the CAT!!
can i make it can i do it??
i retook my o lvl dis yr
but im nt sure wht i cn pass it
and now im maybe takin the CAT examination
but i haf no confidence in myself anymore to take it
afraid to disappoint my parents and myself even more
qns running thru my mind evrydae
what if i fail again?? can i do it??
i've fallen flat once badly n i dun wan it to happen again!!
NEVER!!
haix

i look in d mirror
wd i c is not sum1 who is happy
but sum1 who is very sAd
he wans to be happy but he jus cant anymore
sad isnt it??

Hamdan u jus haf to continue pretending to be happy to make it thru your life
thats the onli thing u can do rite now
FUCKING HATE MY LIFE RITE NOW!!

Lost nowhere @ 8:19 PM

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The Bdae GURL

Naz,Hamdan,Siti,Farhan,Herman,Junjie,Yiwan

Sweet EH??

Cute isnt she??

WE ARE THE MRC!!DUN MESS WIF US!!

We were bored!!hahaha

Da Guys!!

Da 2 DOGS!! LOL

These were all taken yest nite on Siti 18 bdae!!
we all had fun!!! camwhoring!!! muahahahahaha

Lost nowhere @ 7:58 PM

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gosh
tell me hw long i haven update my blog man
weeks man weeks i tell u
sian now i forget wd had happened
c lar all bcoz no internet access
haix

on d 21st nov
went to sch for 2 hrs den headed dwn to tm to watch 'enchanted'
inititalli supose to watch at ps but it was raining
so had to settle wacthin it at tm
but d bright side is that i gotta mit up wif my 3 besties daniel,cherlyn n randolph!!
gosh miss dem so much can!!
of course i went wif my 3 otha classmates lin en, qiuyue n pearl
d show was amazing it was funi romantic
hahaha us love d show can!! i dun mind watchin it again!!
d squirrle is so cute can!!
aft d show my 3 besties had to go off
so went to eat dinner wif my 3 classmates at kfc
it was fun coz we tok n tok alot can!!!
hahahaha
aft dinner all of us headed home coz d next dae gt sch at 8am
sian
oh well but d dae was so fun!! plus i gt to mit a lot of old frens i haven seen dem for so long lar
hahahaha so cool can!!!

on d 24th of nov
went to attend my fren's wedding
fidah yayness
at last able to c her aft so many yrs
gosh she looks so pretty can!!
muahahaha
den met up wif my fren tini
haven met up wif her for yrs too
i miss dem so bloody damn much can!!
met up wif dem for a shot while but we gona mit again in dec!! yayness cant wait!!

tt dae itself gt a call frm my dad sayin tt we gg go out to eat at bedok corner
i followed coz i got no otha plans tt dae
went to eat and head down to changi beach to chill
n i totalli haf no idea y we go dere in d 1st plc
i wanted to emo but nah my parents/cuz/aunt/uncle are all dere
so beta pretend that nothing happen
oh well

on d 25th
went to visit eunice n her baby boi darrien
gosh he so cute can!!
hahaha nice to c eunice again aft so many yrs can!!
went dere wif bestie daniel n shiying
we tok n tok took pics hahaha
nice to c dem again
a pity d whole grp wasnt present tt dae
haix miss everyone so much!!
evyrone bz wif deir own stuffs i guess
nvrmind we'll b miting in dec!! yayness cant wait for dis too!!

on d 30th recently
went to singapore poly to watch d mr/miss singapore poly
nothing to do wif me at all
but it was fun i guess
cute/prety babes n hot hunks
hahahaha
we were suppose to be seated at 530 but it dragged on until 7
hate to wait nowadays!!
i was suppose to sue d sch but oh well for derran's sake i betta not
hahahaha
d show ended around 930
waited for derran to finish his briefing and head down for supper
initialli wanted to wat at simpang bedok but due to not wanting to take a cab home
we den headed down to clementi for mac supper
hahaha we tok n tok
it was nice
rch home 12+ n i was too exahusted headed straight to bed
i gt a long dae ahead d next dae

on d 1st dec
my fren jus turned 18
d last person in d class to turn 18
hahahaha
happy 18th bdae SITI
we den went out to marina square to watch 'TATOOIST'
it was quite a nice show bah
disgusting yes!! scary no!!
this show teaches a lesson if u wan to haf a tatoo pls think twice b4 having 1
SO DUN EVER GET A TATOO NO MATTER WD!!
TRUST ME YOU'LL REGRET IT!!
so after d movie initialli wanted to play bowling but d it was damn full can
so had to do an alternative plan which is to eat
coz evryone was basically hungry aldy lar
so ate at SAKURA
total cost around $61 bucks!!
hahaha
went on to play pool for entertainment played for almost 2 hrs
den headed down to esplanade rooftop to celebrate bdae wif d bdae gurl
all of us took pics together n den ate d cake
all of us were eating d cake den u noe me
bdaes surely haf to haf sabo de mah
so no1 gonna start 1st so ill start it 1st
muahahahaha sori SITI
den all started wif d sabo
hahahaha
aft eating d cake its time for us to cam whore
ill post d pic next time aite
i haven upload it fmr my camera
we did a lot of funny n stupid posts can
hahahaha but it was fun isnt it guys??
i hope d bdae gurl njoyed herself tt nite
we went off at 1045 to catch d last train
al of us were so exhausted so me,herman,yiwan,jj sat down in d train
jj was basicall snoozing i jus sat dwn tok n tok
hahahaha
i board off 1st den herman den yiwan n jj
it was overall a fun dae for all of us!!
SITI hope u like d pressie i bgt it for u n hope u njoyed d dae wif us =)
we all love u loads!!
ur 18 now anything u can jus tok to me aite
ill awaes b here for ya =) tk cr beb!!

Lost nowhere @ 6:39 PM

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