i miss my pri sch frens hahaha i noe its so sudden but yeah tokin abt great memories in d past i do mish dem so much cn but im nt sure wht dey felt d same wae as i do?!?! haix dey changed so much lar but wd to do ppl jus chg for d betta or for d worst to d playin soccer playing badminton hang out wif dem relli mish all tt but now we NEVER even mit up lar!!! haix nvrmind
2dae went to vivo send pak an go werk 1st den we go walk walk around vivo hahaha it ws so fun lar especially wen all of us were like hanging out at d hawker center toking jokin n haf fun i gt 3 sons namely d eldest son : Herman d middle child: Farhan d youngest son : Naziran hahaha den we all like jokin arnd ah i d daddy n mummy so short all his sons so very d tall!! muahahaha sumore same skool n class sia hahahaha daddy accompany d sons in sch lar teach dem de deir daddy so rich le school for fun oni =) muahahahahaha
haix im jus getting sick and tired of all dis lar!!! arggggg hello im so stressed up here ppl!!!! i gt probs too haix wadeva lar im jus pissed off lar!!!
now i jus feel like getting hospitalised and being in a very long coma jus dun care abt anything else but i cnt i nid to care for my frens and family i cnt leave dem in d lurch haix too much responsibility i jus dunno wd to do anymore relli i dont wadeva lar i jus haf to c wd will happen in times to come but for d meantime i jus haf to let it b
DARKNESS FALLS ON ME EMPTINESS FILLS ME LONELINESS CONTINUES TO HAUNT ME BUT YET I CNT DO ANYTHING ABT IT WORRIED ABT WD WILL HAPPEN IN FUTURE HOPING EVERYTHING WILL STAY D SAME BUT I KNOW THAT IT WILL NEVER EVER BE THAT WAY COZ PEOPLE CHANGE N JUS FORGET HAIX RELLI SAD (I HOPE THEY WONT FORGET ABOUT ME)
oh gosh so many things happened haix y are der so mahy things happening to the family?? i jus dunno wd to do anymore i haf to worry abt my my older sis n now my younger sis oh tts great amazingly i jus duno wd to do anymore not oni i haf to worri abt dem but i haf to worry abt myself as well but d thing is so many things haf happened n im nt sure whc to pay more attention?!?! actualli i noe wd i will pay more attention to definitely my 2 sis dey nid me more den i need myself i dunnno i jus put ppl's well-being 1st den myself i will b last i dun mind that im used to that i luv my family n frens den myself i dun think i luv myself ever!! if i actualli did i wouldnt b in dis state right now
my sis were sayin tt now she haf to worri abt our young sis more to worri abt n if she were to noe or d whole family noe abt my prob i dunno wht dey cn handle it mayb i shld jus kip it a secret its best tt limited ppl noe abt it n yah i dun like to trouble my frens abt dis STUPID PROBLEM OF MINE!! but sumtimes i jus cnt take it i nid to tok to sum1 n tts wen my frens cum in my besties to b exact i relli luv dem to bits cn!! im relli afraid to lose dem ever!! will i?? i dunno i cnt c d future its a pity though but i cn jus hope for the best =) i think i shld relli haf a gd tok wif my besties i dunno wen but most probably dis cumin tues bah im miting dem for a movie mish dem so much cn!! but d thing is i dun wan to burden dem wif my probs =( i nid to tok to sum1 n its definitely dem =) im relli thankful to god for letting me noe such awesome frens if i were to lose dem(choi touch wood) i dun c d point of continuing wif my life im js sayin lar i relli hope it wont cum to that =)
Werk been great so far but im nt sure wht shld i resign?!?! d managers are great well at least i think dey are but its jus tt im too caught up wif my personal probs n otha ppl probs im jus worried and SCARED =( i jus hope i cn solve all my probs by d end of dis yr i wan a refreshing start begining next yr hopefully cn lar =)
my bro bdae cumin we are tonin but nt sure wht he cn sia i took off jus for him sia muahahaha jus hope he cn make it lo =) well he betta b hehehehehe
O level is cumin fast n yeah my ite exams as well gosh a lot of pressure n stress cumin my wae i relli dunno wd to do i jus wan to gt it over n done wif actualli but i still wanna do well in both lar wouldnt wan to disappoint my family anymore haix dey mus haf hate me so much for failing O lvl im relli sorry ill try my best dis time i hope i wont disappoint u guys AGAIN
PROBS KEPT BREWING BUT I C NO SOLUTION WILL DERE EVER B 1?!?! WILL I EVER BE HAPPY AGAIN?!?!
on wed went to DIAMOND RECOGNITION MEETING it ws simply amazing and inspiring event i mus sae i relli cnt wait to join this business n build it =) i relli wan to quote wd dey sae dis 'A CLEVER MAN LEARNS FROM HIS OWN MISTAKES BUT A WISE MAN LEARNS FROM OTHER PEOPLE'S MISTAKES'
its VERY inspiring lar im relli glad that i attented the event =) thnxs NASRI n ZAID for the tickets!! n yeah tt ws d 1st time i wore so smart cn outside hahahaha i look so SMART!! hahaha luv it so much i shld buy more smart clothes =)
GO DIAMOND!!! JAPAN here i come!!! muahahahahaha
on thurs went out to celebrate my mum bdae HAPPY 46TH BDAE!! went to eat at pizza hut amazing!! it wasnt as bz as last time bt no worries pizza hut still has loyal customers =) aft tt jus went around tamp to shop den went home coz 2moro gt skool n werk haix nvrmind once in awhile =)
TODAY WAS THE MOST BORING DAY I HAD BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED HAIX
today skool ws boring as usual surely study n study lar do more n more assignments BORING i ws aldy bored n aft skool made it more BORING CAN!! i went out to go buy present for my mum didnt noe whr to go so jus go bugis lo hahahaha all d wae all so quiet lar i didnt like it sia i ws like scorned in btwn didnt noe wd to do tried to make conversations but all i gt ws dunno or 1 word ans sumtimes haix fed up sia i almost lost my patience nowadays my patience level jus dropped i hardly cn tolerate as well as last time i dunno wds happenin to me lar so basically had a VERY BORING DAY AT BUGIS FOR THE 1ST TIME!!! relli hope it wont happen again =(
im relli scared of sumthin but i wont sae(im afraid of o lvl but dis is different) its nt relli impt well at least i think its not mayb im jus thnkin too much?? i dunno haix omg i gt so many things to worry abt lar!! argggg HATE MYSELF SO MUCH CAN!! wen will my nightmare end?? i relli haf to gt thru dis hurdle of mine saded saded saded saded saded saded
yest went to east coast park in d morn lar ws d 1st family to set up tent n to reach dere 1st so many things to carry lar n we dont even haf any vehicle damn i jus dun gt it y mus we bring so many things lar haix anywae it ws pretty boring lar nthy to do no1 to tok too waste my bloody time so played badminton aft 1 yrs plus haven play lar i lost my touch omg lar!!! i sux aldy lar gotta haf to start practising le
2dae basically my grp MRC haf to do our final roleplay n yeah all of us are definitely scared lar browse tru d script n do rehearsal n d last min hahaha stressful lar haf to rmb so many things but in d end we pull it off!!! yayness for MRC!! d best yet again!! muahahahahahaha but we didnt relli do tt well is our props i wanted to do more on d props but nvrmind its all done i jus hope all of us scored amazingly great!! =) NO MORE TORTURE ALDY dun nid to memorise any scripts EVER!! muahahahahaha
aft tt had photo takin session hahaha shall post d pics next time if i not lazy muahahahaha ciao for now ppl
n yeah HERman pls pls go c doctor 2moro aite betta hor u promised tk cr bro
i reli cnt imagine my life without my frens living a world full of loneliness is relli unbearable i dun think anyone could ever live alone d one thing that im afraid is to lose my frens if it did actualli happen i'd rather die than live a world of emptiness LUV MY FRENS SO MUCH!!
on wed me pak an ct went to watch movie which i've been anticipating to watch 'Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix' which im so disappointed and bored of it the movie ws basically 3/4 full of crap oni 1/4 of it ws full of fighting but still it ws jus for a short period of time i think its even less than 10 mins or so BORING!! waste $$ sia CT ur husband show BORING sia muahahahaha
SCHOOL ITE its been awesome so far 3 months wif my classmates is jus amazing although its oni for like 3 months we're 2gther it feels like we know each otha 3 yrs LUV DEM LOADS!! so basically we were all suppose to take an elective for 1 semester n im relli stressed abt dis D CERTIFIED ACCOUNTING TECHNICIAN is relli a great course but the thing is i retake my O wd's d use of me takin CAT?? do i relli wan to go poly next yr?? haix im so damn stressed up lar!! yest on thurs we had to submit to tcher wd elective to take i wasnt sure wd to choose coz i nid to think abt my O lvl as well too many things were on my mind so i had to col my besties for help bestie daniel called me 1st we tok n tok n tok i relli appreciate him coling me coz i ws stumped on wd to do i ws basically confused he kinda straightened out everything but still i wasnt sure of it still msg my sis abt it still not sure yet i had to do wd i had to do col my dad he tok to me n say that if i didnt do well in O jus stick to ite n he encourage me to take d CAT coz i told him that i didnt relli haf d confidence in doin well in my O i ws surprised that he actualli told me that if i cnt do well inO jus drop it but i didnt wan to disappoint him i will study equally hard for my O if i cn go poly next yr i will go hopefully all goes well my bestie cher coled me half an hour ltr tok n tok n tok she was encouragin me to do well in my O sayin that next yr go poly i noe u guys mean well but im jus not confident in doin well in O thanxs for believin in me though it relli means a lot to me =) Thanxs to bestie dan n cher n my sis n dad for ur help yest it relli did helped me a lot!! luv ya loads!! muacxs
so basically i ws feelin stressed up n confused right aft makin my decision i had to sit for my afd exam i ws wth lar i couldnt concentrate at all lar i mus sae it ws quite ez actualli d afd exam but to me it ws quite hard lar coz i ws preoccupied i jus hope i cn score well in dis exam so that i can gt A for afd praying hard!!
aft skool went to celebrate herman n yiwan's bdae at arnolds muahahahaha initially it suppose to be 12 ppl cumin but 4 were bz so it turn out to b 8 but its ok we did had fun muahahaha ate chicken buns fries wedges yummy luv arnolds!! had d bdae cake as well its damn nice lar chocolate damn i've SINNED again but no worries hopefully nvr cum out pimples so all of us took sum cake n smoosh it to both d bdae boi n gurl's face hahahaha so childish rite but i dun care i dun mind ppl were all watchin but i dun care im used to d attention we doin a celebration here all of us had fun!! gave pressie to herman n yiwan hope dey like it =)
took lots n lots of pic will post it next time =) muahahahaha aft tt all of went to slack at tamp open plaza muahahaha we tok n tok n tok it ws simply fun oh ya JJ met up wif us too a pity he wasnt celebrating wif us jus nw coz he had to take care of his granny nvrmind dere's still next time =) all of us parted at 10pm coz 2moro gt skool damn!! RELLI HOPE HERMAN N YIWAN ENJOYED THEIR DAY!!! LUV YA LOADS!!
Fatin came back to skool her mum jus passed away i relli hope she's ok if u nid sum1 to tok to dun hesitate to tok to me ill aways b dere for ya!! dun worri u still gt us QC we will awaes b dere for ya!! we promise!! =) so stay happy n pls do take care!!
Sadness fills my life again n again when will dis ever end? y cnt i jus b happy for once in my life?? is it that difficult?
to add more sadness in my life i gt a BIG FAT LOUSY B for OFA!!! argggg its not A haix mayb its relli impossible for me to achieve sumthin tremendously great at this point of time I've failed my O lvl i dun wan history to repeat itself i wont be able to take it if that were to happen i shall not able to lift myself up again fallen once if twice i doubt ill b able to stand up tall EVER!!
had BFD Ca jus nw i dun think ill be able to even pass it lar i didnt reli study lar b4 d dae of d Ca i werked hw am i suppose to study for it?? STUPID RITE!?!? IM RELLI DESTINED TO FAIL
the Section Head of Accounting came to class to tok to us abt our electives we haf to take its compulsory n yeah there's dis CAT which stands for Certified Accountant Technician its a great course but im nt sure wht im interested in it or not i dun even noe wd i wan so d purpose of me retakin o is for wd sia?? haix d CAT is very attractive i cn take that as well graduating ITE with 2 certs in 2 yrs isnt tt incredible?!?! but it will b very tough n cramped ill b damn busy lar
I reli regretted retakin O i jus dun haf d mood to study anymore forgotten all abt it aldy i cnt even do such a simple math problem hw am i suppose to pass it sia?? ill fail my O lvl AGAIN!!?? haix i dunno wd to do now haven discussed it wif my parents yet nt sure hw dey will react to it lar haix SO STRESSED UP!!
I feel that im nt a gd person i dunno i jus feel that im a bad person guys am i a bad person??
I relli wished that i could go back to the past to rewrite the past jus hate my past so much!! but sumtimes i feel that evrything happens for a reason n yah i do think everything happens for a reason its oni wht u can accept it or not haix its too hard for me to face the music relli depressing Im too fragile that's wd my frens sae REALITY SUX!! I RELLI NID SUMONE TO TOK TOO ANYONE WHO WILLINGLY TO GIV ME A LISTENING EAR PLS PLS LEND ME UR EARS I NID IT BADLY BEFORE I COLLAPSE =(
i realized that i haven been bloggin muahahaha sori ar been bz lately lets recap
on last wed didnt went out wif my peeps but i did study well i think i did for my o lvl but u noe wd i ws F**king fed up wif myself u noe i couldnt do my maths even a simple qns i couldnt do it!! haix im so STUPID u noe!!!! i oni did a few qns n i couldnt do it at all!! how PATHETIC am i?? hw am i suppose to pass my o lvl like this sia?? haix looks like im fated to b a FAILURE ALL MY LIFE =( SHOULD I GIVE UP??
fri hmmm let me try n rmb oh ya skool as per normal veri boring dae to end wif coz basically dere are oni like 3 boring lessons aft skool went to eat at burger king at whitesands took taxi go dere coz lazy to take bus n all hahaha n u noe wd so funni cn i gt whopper burger n so did JJ but u noe wd ? he didnt like vegie so it ws like oni d patty n ham hahahaha so hilarious cn!! d reaction of d manager ws funni coz it ws jus plain patty n ham n nthy else hahaha Oh JJ!!! u shld eat vegie =) its healthy u noe!! aft tt went to friday prayers wif farhan d mosque is called al istighar(i think) hahaha it ws my 1st time gg dere n yeah it ws big n u noe wd aft prayers n all farhan jus went off sia tokin to his fren n im like left alone carryin his bag for him coz he simply jus forget abt it n yeah forget abt me oso sad rite?? =( abang farhan so bad sia forget his bro so aft tt dunno whr go farhan n ct send me home muahahaha coz in d evening miting my bestie frm pri skool for a meeting at bishan reaching my blok farhan show us sumthin so funni cn!! he's such a dork!! hahaha no lar jkjkjkjk oni sorry abang fArhan ill post it next time wd he show to me n ct muahahahaha ________________________________________________________
sat met up wif my grp called d MRC to do BFD project haix early in d morn sian as usual ppl late ate at banquet n discuss aft tt had to do in d mornin coz sum of dem haf to go sumwhr aftwards its all settled but we are not ready yet its not perfect!! oh well gotta practise hard to score!!! aft d project went to vivocity wif farhan n ct hahaha went to survey for herman's n yvonne's bdae pressie found things we like i guess but im still not sure yet nid to survey more =) went to best denki to find my bestie he ws werkin n i tell u his job is so cool cn!!! he cn like watch any cds he want at d big screen tv he's surrounded wif musical instruments whc he cn play anytime amazing job!! i like!! muahahaha
aft tt went to ps ask my fren wd he wants to eat he doesnt noe so went to ps in d end ate at ljs hahaha wanted to haf more fun but i werkin at 5 haix so sad u noe!!! =( hahaha dey didnt noe whr to go so dey send me to werk hahaha im so blessed cn!! thnxs u guys!! at least im nt alone wen gg to werk took sum pics together haha shall post it next time =)
today on sun werked full haix so damn tired lar d oni thing i did d whole dae ws preparin the new pizza d like flower pizza i duno d name dun care dun intend to noe hahaha i werked frm 12 to 9 i mostly did d preparation of d pizza i tell u man standing doin d pizza for 8+ hrs is a torture its nt ez to make u noe troublesome pizza!!! argggg y mus dey bring it back its a torture for us to make d pizza u noe!! damn u all!!! nw im exhausted n im werkin 2moro!!! argggggg too tired lar!!!! gotta slp soon!!
HAPPY 18TH BDAE HERMAN!! 18 ALDY B MORE MATURE HOR!!! HAHAHAHAHA CYA IN SKOOL!!
SHOULD I GIV UP ON STUDYIN O LVL?? SHOULD I JUS STICK TO MY ACCOUNTING COURSE?? SHOULD I GO TO POLY NEXT YR IF I CN MAKE IT?? WHAT SHOULD I DO?? HAIX IM SO STRESSED UP!!!
i've been thinkin a lot dese past few days should i jus go ahead wif my accounting course in ite or should i go to poly next yr to take my so called desired course?? but i jus realised that i think i should stick to accounting course coz im jus not fated to b a doctor no matter wd cnt even pass my maths n sci hw to even enter d course?? haix relli am stupid cum to think of it all i noe that im a FAILURE!!!
The first pic ws the DURIAN STRUDEL that all of us ate 2dae amazingly delicious!! u guys shld try it trust me DURIANS are delicious!! muahahahaha
d next pic ws d cheong chee fun eeeeeyew to me not nice lar veri weird weird taste de hahaha jus not to my liking im veri fussy abt food mah muahahahaha sorry
we took lots n lots of pic b4 all of us went home but dis is d nicest among all hehehehe peace outz!! Luv Dem So MuCh CaN!!
HAPPY 2ND MONTH ANNIVERSARY FARHAN & SITI!! time flies very fast n its aldy 2 months dey're together relli happy for dem cn!! muahahahahaha
so 2dae in sch nothing much happen lar its very d boring lar pak an n siti were suppose to reach sch by 830am muahahaha i ask dem reach mah but hor both late aiyoh i even coled pak an 8 times u noe n still he nvr wake up wth muahahahaha siti on d otha hand woke up aldy n u noe wd ?? she slpt again great isnt it muahahahahaha so dey're late n im left all alone muahahaha no lar i gt otha frens oso lar muahahahaha
all lessons ws so boring lar bfd as usual BORING!! afd ws class test it ws ez lar but i made stupid mistakes lar coz i gt not enuf slp!! argggg relli damn slpy cn!!! pie ws fun damn funni d tcher lar muahahahaha luvin it so much so aft tt gt s&w n u noe wd guys?? u wont guess it i skipped d lesson muahahaha i noe u all noe tt i gd boi wan wont skip lessons w/o any valid reason but i jus did omg im a BAD BOI!! who teach me?? muahahaha shant sae bleahz =)
so me pak an ct went out to bugis to eat DURIAN STRUDEL!! yay!! at last!! muahahaha n siti ate it too!! so happy!! clap hands for her *clap* *clap* muahahahahaha durian is delicious lar siti u should eat more dun worri will haf plenty of time to eat more right pak an?? muahahahahaha
aft tt went to heartland mall i oso duno y go dere but we jus did 1st time i step into it!! yay! anotha plc i've been too muahahahahaha walk around forawhile den decided to eat at QIJI bgt cheong chee fun n QIJI famous popiah honestly i didnt like it at all dunno y but i jus dun like it lar muahahahaha all of us went home aft tt coz pak an miting d family for dinner we took sum pics ill post it next time now i gg ciao to watch a show its d final episode musnt miss it!! muahahahhaa ciao for now guys!!
n yeah IM A LIL HAPPY TODAY!!! THNXS GUYS!! LUV YA LOTS!!
dis are all taken aft our bfd roleplay hahaha all of us look great n smart muahahahaha
so 2dae basically ws d 1st dae of skool aft 3 wks of hols yay!! so great to c all my classmates again mish dem so much can!! but hor d dae ws so dull lar boring cn!!! afd period we went thru our hols hmwk expected ofa did assignment den bfd we did our roleplay
BFD ws relli tense n unexpected relli reli is we were d last team to act d otha grps did okay well its oni our 1st rehearsal wd do u expect all of us forgotten our lines
for my grp fel wasnt present she ws sick n had to rush to hospital i relli hope she's alrite so we had to act w/o the props it ws kinda hard but we managed to pull it off phew n d tcher comment ws tt we were the best grp all of us were like so shocked cn!! coz we did messed up quite badly coz we didnt memorise d lines n had to memorise fel's lines oso n sumore dere ws sudden pauses n silences coz we didnt noe whose turn to speak n we simply jus forgotten abt d lines muahahahaha but our voice projection ws gd gd teamwork and all phew all of us were relieved lar muahahahaha coz we are not prepared
den aft tt all of us took pics d pics above hahaha dun all of us look great tt ws d first time i wear so smart cn!! hahahaha hw do i look guys?? giv comments leh muahahaha
oh ya yest my besties namely daniel derran cherlyn winner angelin and me went to town to shop oni a few ppl bought coz der's basically nothing dere n bsides dey were so xx lar as me n derran n cherlyn nvr gt to buy anything we decided to go to bugis n shop muahahaha all of us bgt stuffs i bought a bag n a shirt derran bgt a bag a lots of shirts hahaha cherlyn i think bgt sum tops it ws relli fun hanging out wif dem!! luv dem loads!! muacxks
watched transformers it ws simply cool sia dey made it like so real cn n yeah its funni too muahahahha whoever hasnt watch it yet pls pls watch it its worth ur ticket muahahaha
tt dae itself took my o lvl cert haix it reli jus makes me sad i didnt wan to b sad coz i've aldy so called move on tryin my best to forget abt it but as soon as i took my o lvl cert memories jus kip flashin back i felt very uncomfortable d feeling ws gone last time but now its back d feeling of SCAREDNESS im scared tt i will fail my o lvl again so much for a new hamdan to be reborn hahahaha but ill still try my best to move on =) i relli hope i cn do it!! wish me luck guys!!
dis few days ive been sick argggg more pimples cum out sumore wah i wanna cry le muahahaha stupid sorethroat n flu argggg stupid weather sia
oh god I MISS SCHOOL SO MUCH!! CALL ME CRAZY BUT YEAH I MISS SCHOOL I MISS MY FRENS SO MUCH LAR!! I CANT WAIT TO C MY CLASSMATES AGAIN AFTER 3 WKS OF HOLS!!! MUAHAHAHAHA but hor our project is not even done lar haven even rehearsed lar mon haf to present the full dress rehearsal sumore to tcher sian cn die sia STRESS!!! i guess i gt too many things in my mind to think right now so a NEW HAMDAN gotta put a hold to it first until he gets a grip of his life soon i hope =(
BECAUSE OF YOU I DUNNO WHAT LOVE IS ANYMORE BECAUSE OF YOU IM AFRAID TO LET MYSELF LOVE AGAIN LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE WHAT IS LOVE?? PS: many misses to bestie Daniel n of course all his besties too maucks love ya loads!!
few daes ago on fri my best fren frm pri skool ask me out to dis function which i so grateful to him lar it relli motivates me more n yah it ws Very interesting got to mit a lot of ppl the products dey showed are very cool hahaha especially dI COOK isnt it muahahaha I RELLI CANT WAIT TO JOIN!!!
wd the ppl sae is very damn amazing can n yah it does makes sense y do i actualli always think all abt d negativity of life? wen it jus pulls me down even more its jus not worth it isnt it you yourself haf d power to chg ur life not others dis is wd i learnt stop pulling urself down wen u urself noe ur capabilities BELIEVE IN YOUR PERSONAL CAPABILITIES HAMDAN u shld noe wd ur gd at n believe in urself tt u cn do it!! BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU WANT!!! CMON HAMDAN!! STOP BEING PESSIMISTIC!! pull urself up everyone of ur frens believe in u all d more u shld too THANKS YOU GUYS FOR THE SUPPORT YOU'VE GIVEN ME THROUGHOUT THIS DIFFICULT TIMES OF MY LIFE I RELLI APPREACIATE IT ALOT!! A NEW HAMDAN IS GONNA B REBORN SOON SOON I HOPE BUT IM NOT SURE WHEN BUT YEAH SOON N DEFINITELY FOR THE BETTA!!
The first pic ws the DURIAN STRUDEL that all of us ate 2dae
dis are all taken aft our bfd roleplay