Saturday, September 06, 2008
INSOMNIA
nowadays i cant slp at all
dunno y but i think im very stressed abt d upcoming exams
damn!! i hate it wen exams are here coz i wont b able to slp at all lar!!!
think too much sumore how to slp
stupid sia!!
anywae enuf abt tt
i want to go shopping sia
so many things to buy!!
i wan havainas i wan white jeans i wan new clothes i wan psp!!
hahaha d list jus kips on going can!!
i wonda wen will i buy all that lar
i think i nid go werk 1st den i shop bah
sian!! nvrmind patience hamdan
patience is a virtue =)
my bdae is like cumin in abt 3 days time
damn since last year i couldnt celebrate my bdae on the day itself due to EXAMS
hate it so much sia!!
its either advanced or belated bdae!!
for once i wanna celebrate it on the dae itself but time prove to be unfair
haix
hahahaha oh wells its ok i jus have to make do wif life for now =)
counting down to the days im turning 19!!!
whee =)
gosh im getting older each year =(
HAMDAN MISSES SUMONE
Monday, August 25, 2008
FRIENDS
a lot of unfortunate events have been happening
it definitely make me open up my eyes
saw people's true colors and choose my friends wisely
yes truth hurts but if i have to go through it to know the truth
then i guess it's worth it
i finally saw it and i realli thank god to those friends of mine who help me open up my eyes
i don't want to be duped anymore
thought they were my friends but its not
as they say you'll never know who you can trust until u DO know them
i really hate that!!
i treasure friendship to the max!!
no matter whether the person im close with or not
each individual do make an impact in my life no matter how big or small it is
so when there is a problem between my friends and I it affected me
i was hoping it wont but it did
maybe i just love my friends so much that i couldnt accept it turn out sour
oh wells i just have to move on with my life and make new friends
friends come and go as they say
but im glad that my best friends are here to stay with me forever =)
LOVE YOU GUYS LOTS!!
ill be better in time dont worry =)
we were strangers in the begining then became friends but we turn out to be strangers in the end =(
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Dinner yesterday wasnt what i expected
i tot it would be very heartwarming but it wasnt
i was so looking forward to d dinner wif dem but
oh wells at least i got to c all of them yesterday
love them loads!!
suppose to bare everything out yest but
things are just never the same anymore =(
im going off to langkawi tonite
dun miss me too much =)
HAPPY ADVANCED 19TH BIRHTDAY TO JUNJIE JUNHAO AND JESLYN!!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
I JUS DUNNO WHAT THEY WANT FROM ME??
a lof of unfortunate events haf been happening to the family and ok to be fair partly its my fault too but its relli too much for me to handle
i tried to be a gd brother but people think im not im jus tryin to protect her
im tryin to be a filial n gd son but people think im not
i tried to be the best that what EVERYONE wans me to be
gd in my studies be a gd son more importantly to be der for everyone
im not god im human i cant do all that i jus cant do all that anymore
i wanna be perfect for everyone but im jus not
im tryin to be perfect for them
all i ever did in life so far is for them not for me
i dun even noe what i wan for myself anymore
i dun even noe who am i at all
i have many probs that i haven solve yet
more n more arises making me feel so pressurized on what to do
i jus wanna giv up on life right now
i feel so sad that my parents think that i dun care wen i do care about my family
the reason y i spend so much time outside wif my frens bcoz i dun wan any of u to b worried about me
to noe that im suffering inside would pains you would worry you
but you dun get it you jus saw the outer me
im tryin to be the best that you wan me to be but i cant do that anymore since you guys think that im not
be the PERFECT SON for both of you
do u noe its so hard to be PERFECT?? especially tryin hard to satisfy you both
NO!! you guys never did know!!
oh wells never mind all i know that I LOVE MY FAMILY SO MUCH!!
im feeling so sad right now
Sunday, July 20, 2008
IN DEEP THOUGHTS
i've been thinkin a lot dese few daes
about letting go
im afraid to let go relli
but i haf to sooner or later coz im not happy dese way
i haf to let go for my well-being
but its hard
its being etched in my mind
its simply not ez to jus let it go
it affected me wholly and made me what i am today
i bcame worse bcame someone who doesnt blive in faith
bcame someone who doesnt blive in himself anymore
how sad isnt it
SO i've decided to let go of it
but i nid my best frens to be der for me coz i noe it aint gg b ez
can we like mit up asap??
if i cant let go of the past how can i hold the future??
dis is so true so that's y i relli nid to let go of my past if not i cant handle NOW or the FUTURE
HAMDAN u can let it go i noe u can
u wanna be happy rite so u jus haf to let it go
pls bring back the cheerful HAMDAN that everyone knew
pls ='(
I STILL CRY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NITE FOR THE SAMN DAMN THING
Thursday, July 17, 2008
things are jus never gonna b the same again
wen ppl change dey relli change
n dey dun change for the betta but for the worst
i have seen people 's true colors
which i was relli shock to see
which i didnt expect it
its relli true tt it takes a very long time to noe a person
n wen u relli do noe d person it might change everything
wd u tot was not true turns out to be true
n u relli feel so used feel so lost
feel so betrayed feel being backstabbed
not sure who can i trust anymore
it change my perception of ppl around me
afraid to trust ppl coz i dun wanna get hurt anymore
experienced to much hurt to trust ppl anymore
i jus dun gt it y am i awaes d one getting hurt
haix
I HATE IT SO MUCH!!
Y MUS DIS HAPPEN TO ME AWAES??
Thursday, July 10, 2008
nowadyas im so lazy to update my blog man
been too bz to update anywae
so here goes
21 June
my cuz gt married on this day
at last dey gone married
so happy for dem can!!
she looks so pretty
help out clear the dishes n all
i ate like 3-4 times i think
gosh im gona b fat in dis rate
werkin thru the weeks and weeks
n cum to
29 June
my manager gotten married too
gosh ppl getting maried so quickly lar
i wonda wht will i ever got married
hahaha it was fun to c al d cc colleagues again =)
miss dem so much
a pity i officially quited Coffee Club aldy
gg miss werkin der
2 June
today was the hardest for me
i cleared my O lvl stuffs
it was hard
it reminded me every bit of my past
gosh it was painful
haix
y cant i jus move on!!!???
pl ask me y cant i jus move on and jus forget it
i dunno
i jus so hate myself so much!!!
ppl haf no idea hw hard izzt to move on n forget everything
dis is jus not sumthin ez dis is sumthin that i've lost a few yrs back
n it aint ez getting it back
fuck!!! i hate it so much!!!
oh wells
4 July
a crazy dae i mus sae
wei liang accompanied me go amk to gt my sis camera whc she lost it in d cab
den went to lavender to do my passport
den met up wif derran to go bugis to gt his bermudas
den head on to simei to mit up wif fizah
i tell u i basically roam the whole singapore
ok well not d whole of singapore but still cn b considered
i was so tired d whole dae
but at d end of d dae i njoyed every bit of it =)
thnxs wei liang for ur company
5 July
im so xcited for dis dae to cum
u noe y?? im gg to PULAU UBIN!!!
yeah my first time gg der
well im helping out boys scout frm stamford pri
i tell u d kids are cute but naughty!!
very naughty
went hiking around pulau ubin and it was so much fun
d kids gt stucked wif me
everywhere i go dey will follow me
i dunno y mayb im jus likeable
hahahaha overall d dae was great wif d company of nazurah nazirah sobrie mayamin
it was fun hanging out wif dem
i haf d pics but haven upload it yet
so next time ya =)
tmr my classmate turning 19
she's d 1st in the class to turn 19
da jie ah!! hen lao liao
muahahahahaha
tmr we having a class chalet
i cnt wait for tt!!
we gg haf so much fun!! i dun care we haf too
tmr i haf to buy chickens fri prayers driving practice den go to the chalet
gosh so much thing to do tmr!!!
oh wells jus cnt wait to go chalet
HAPPY 19TH BDAE YI WAN!!!
i jus cant take it anymore!!
im jus scared
tot everything was ok but i guess it was jus wishful thinking of me to think ppl will change =(
I MISS MY BESTIES SO MUCH!!
MIT UP SOON YA!!
