yay!! abang farhan is feeling betta le muahahahahahaha
during pie we all watched a show called pay it forward d show damn nice cn!! i luv it so much!! den tcher gav us 3 qns to ponder
All dis qns does make sense n i relli wanna ans all 3 qns now
1. If had a chance to change my life, what would i change? why aren't i doing it now?
I would change myself. I've lost my confidence ever since a few yrs back. To make it worse, i failed my o lvl. Since then, my confidence drop termendously. i was half dead. the tot of killing myself did occur in my mind before. But after much thinking, its just not worth it n its a bloody STUPID idea of mine. I was in a depression quite long lar. i didnt show it to my fren. they didnt relli noe abt it until i told dem. they tried consoling me, telling me tt its not d end of the world. Well, its eazier said den done isnt it. they jus duno my situation. Other the fact dere are otha problems bothering me as well. I cldnt take it. Till now i still cant. i would always be in my room evry single dae. Crying, blaming,hating myself so much for being dis way. n i stil do all tt. I cnt help it. Im nt sure aft crying or blaming or hating myself i would feel betta. but im weak.im fragile. Especially wen im being pressured by my family to do well in my studies. dey haf high expectations of me. i jus dunno y. so wen ppl haf high expectations of u, u automatically felt tt u shld haf d same perception of urself like othas do. so wen u didnt do well as ppl expect or u expect urself, u felt tt ur STUPID!! and u've disappointed many ppl around u as well. Its sad. Relli. Wen i look in d mirror, i c a WORHTLESS STUPID FUGLY PERSON!!!!!!!!! my perception of life is all now negative. It doesnt make any difference wht i actualli did well in any tests. its jus tt i feel tt i would haf done betta. coz ppl expect tt of me since young. haix. All i could do now is to try n build my confidence. But im nt sure wht i cn actualli DO IT?? Im retakin my O dis yr again. for d 2nd time. N sumtimes i regretted retaking it. coz i jus dun haf d time to STUDY!!! haix
i wanted to do sumthing abt dis STUPID problems of mine. But im scared. Wif no confidence i cnt do anything. NOTHING!! RELLI NOTHING!!! i relli wished tt all dis ws not true. I reli hope tt dis wasnt my life. but reality check hamdan. IT IS!!! UR STUPID TWISTED PROBLEMATIC LIFE!!!! Haix
ACTUALLI THERE ARE 2 MORE QNS BUT IM LAZY TO DO ALDY HAHAHAHA SORI!!
