haix...i hate my life so much now...!! nthy is jus gg d wae i wanted..haix...im so stressed...depressed...i jus duno wd to do...tot i knew..i relli tot i knew...haix...im jus stuck on wd to do...arggg....mayb i shld jus retake my o..tts d all wae i cld do...i guess...i jus haf no faith in myself again in doin wd i do best last time...haix..am i jus fated to fail..?? i relli think so...sori u guys...i've failed all of u...dis is nt d hamdan u guys noe...im betta den dis...im stronger den dis...haix..i nid help...i jus hope rp accept me into deir skool...tts d oni ting i cn hope rite nw...haix... Oh pls god pls help me gt thru dis hardship b4 i collapsed... :(
wd do i nid now..??
i nid my frens by my side rite now...coz im collapsing soon...i dunno lar..im trying to b strong 4 myself n 4 my family...i duno wd will happen to dem if i actualli collapsed n n jus cry infront of dem...giving myself up 4 nt being able to stand up tall again....i've been reproaching myself evry single dae all my life...blaming myself 4 disappointing many ppl n myself as well....im so sorry....i relli hope i cld turn dis around n do evrything differently..but its jus too late... I HATE MYSELF FOR BEING DIS WAE!! haix.... y cnt i jus accept d fact tt im a failure..?? coz i've never failed b4 in my entire life...mayb tts d thing..i've never failed badly in my life b4..so dis little flop now jus making me feel tt im a failure...but dis is torture 4goodness sake...cnt u jus let me haf a breather...open a door 4 me...let me breathe...let me stand upright again...oh pls...i beg of you...haix...
to all my frens:
Im so sorry for everything...im so sorry tt i cnt bring myself stand upright again...im a failure...n i noe tt...i relli do...haix...but if oni tts nt true...im unhappy...im sad....im depressed...i noe u guys hav done so much 4 me in believeing in me more den i actualli blieve in myself...i thank u guys so much 4 tt.... muaxs...LUV U ALL SO MUCH!! im trying my best to haf faith in myself again...but its jus impossible..well at least for right now i guess... i relli hope u guys will kip cheering me on giv me support..coz i reli nid it to regain my confidence...i reli nid my confidence back...i've lost it since i 1st gt my n lvl results..i relli tank god tt i passed n lvl....
wd i hate:
haix...i hate my past so much...sumtimes i intend to 4gt abt it...but sumtimes i dun intend to...dere's beautiful memories tt i luv so much..n bad memories tt i relli wan to 4gt all abt it... but its all in stored in my brain...my heart...which has jus broken...nah..nt by love..but by myself...it cn nvr b mended..it cn nvr b healed...coz unless i blieve in myself again n b successful in my future endeavours...it cn nvr b mended nor healed...
haix...n now i cry in d middle of d nite 4 d same damn ting!!! haix....i hate crying especially wen i jus cnt take it anymore...yeah..sori but its true...especially during at nite wen my thots jus gone wild...tears cn jus automatically roll down my cheeks...haix...im so fragile...relli i am now so fragile..duno y.... anywae i hope i cn gt thru dis obstacle unscathed...unhurt...
pls b dere 4 me u guys...especially dis point of time....i relli nid ur support or else i may jus collapsed anytime...SOON.....but i relli hope not...
